Looks Like Nobody Might Be Hosting the Oscars Ceremony

Hosting the Oscars is a hard job. You need a) squeaky clean tweets, b) a boring, PG-13 sense of humor that won’t offend any advertisers, nominees, guests, etc. and c) skin as thick as rubber, considering almost everyone will think you’re doing an awful job. At least you get paid a lot of money, right? Wrong! Jimmy Kimmel only got paid $15,000 for the gig as of 2016, which is far too low for a job this big.

Nobody wants to do the job, or at least nobody the Oscars has asked wants to do this job. And after Kevin Hart stepped down last week following an uproar over his homophobic tweets, the Academy is now considering hiring… nobody!.. to host the 2019 ceremony. According to Variety, anonymous sources say that the Academy has no replacement plan and are afraid of choosing anyone who might be “too edgy,” which might rule out traditional late night hosts. Frankly, if the Academy considers dudes like Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel ~*edgy*~ then they’ve got bigger problems, but I digress.

One idea thrown around was to have “a bunch of huge celebs, something SNL style, and buzzy people” host instead of one person. But to be honest, I’m pretty sure it’s just going to be James Corden. The only way that man can offend anyone is by being offensively boring.

Or, I don’t know, why don’t we throw the opportunity to some Bar Mitzvah MC out in New Jersey? Hollywood deserves it.