Martha’s Vineyard is lovely any time of the year—gorgeous houses, sweeping vistas, and, in August, a high chance of running into famous people enjoying the dregs of summer. Oh, if you are in the right place at the right time, you can witness an argument between Larry David and Alan Dershowitz screaming at each other about Donald Trump.
The incident occurred on the porch of the Chilmark General Store on Martha’s Vineyard, which is the kind of relatively fancy grocery store that sells $20 organic chicken breasts, tasteful sweatshirts, and very good breakfast sandwiches. The porch is a nice spot for hanging out, but it is also sort of a Scene in its own right—god bless David for spotting Alan Dershowitz, who initially said hello to David, and choosing to let him have it. What a treat for everyone else at the General Store, just trying to buy some Advil and a 6-pack of Coke Zero, but really, we must thank the anonymous source that dutifully transcribed the interaction and sent it to Page Six.
Dershowitz: “We can still talk, Larry.”
David: “No. No. We really can’t. I saw you. I saw you with your arm around [former Trump Secretary of State Mike] Pompeo! It’s disgusting!”
Dersh: “He’s my former student [at Harvard Law]. I greet all of my former students that way. I can’t greet my former students?”
David: “It’s disgusting. Your whole enclave — it’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!”
Added the stunned source, “Larry walks away. Alan takes off his T-shirt to reveal another T-shirt [underneath it] that says, ‘It’s The Constitution Stupid!’.”
We’re told Dersh “drove off in an old, dirty Volvo.”
Everything about this is perfect? The “old, dirty Volvo,” the second t-shirt reveal, and, interestingly enough, zero mention of Jeffrey Epstein in the entire writeup at Page Six. Hm! Naturally, David did not provide any further comment on the matter, but Dershowitz had a lot to say:
“While he was writing bad jokes, I was helping to bring about peace in the Middle East,” Dershowitz told us. “What has he done?”
“Larry is a knee-jerk radical,” Dershowitz told Page Six. “He takes his politics from Hollywood. He doesn’t read a lot. He doesn’t think a lot.”
“It’s typical of what happens now on the Vineyard,” he added later. “People won’t talk to each other if they don’t agree with their politics.”
I think we can safely ignore most of what he says up there, but there is something delicious about rich people slinking around the Vineyard in the two weeks before Labor Day, assiduously ignoring each other because of politics, but engaging in verbal spats if they feel particularly punchy. Livens things up a bit. [Page Six]
- Not quite sure what’s going on with A-Rod, but here he is posing in front of the car he gave Jennifer Lopez for her 50th birthday, which she obviously returned to him. The latter makes sense, and the former.... why? [Page Six]
- God bless Jennifer Hudson for thinking that CATS was just “misunderstood.” [GamesRadar]
- Mike Richards, the man they picked to replace Alex Trebek as host of Jeopardy! is sorry for saying all those bad things about women. “It is humbling to confront a terribly embarrassing moment of misjudgment, thoughtlessness, and insensitivity from nearly a decade ago. Looking back now, there is no excuse, of course, for the comments I made on this podcast and I am deeply sorry.” [People]
- DJ Tanner’s daughter says her favorite picture of her parents is the one where her papa is (consensually) grappling her mother’s titty. [Us Weekly]
DISCUSSION
Based on how Dershowitz himself described the encounter, I think it’s more accurate to say Dershowitz accosted David. Because apparently what happened was Dershowitz saw David in the store and said hello to him, and David ignored him and walked away, and Dershowitz followed him with the “We can still talk” bullshit. Apparently Dershowitz still seems to feel he is entitled to demand the personal attention and friendship of people who don’t want to be around him, even though that’s not how any of this works, even if you think their reasons for not wanting to associate with you are bad or shallow (which in this case they are not).
I also have nothing but praise for David and the other rich fucks on Martha’s Vineyard who have done the only thing in their power to force Dershowitz to face the only realistic consequences available to him for his efforts trying to legitimize some of the worst people on earth. At that level of wealth, privilege, and power, it is the easiest thing to do to treat politics (which won’t really ever meaningfully affect the wealth, power and privilege of someone like David) like a sport and to chalk up political differences as no more important than one of you liking the Red Sox and the other liking the Yankees (see, e.g., Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia’s friendship). It’s a notch in David’s favor (and arguably makes up for the Seinfeld finale) that he is willing to forego the path of least resistance when it comes to a shithead like Dershowitz (I will say, Dershowitz seems like a deeply unpleasant person, so probably cutting him off and screaming at him in public isn’t that difficult a choice to make, but still).