Ladies, Weiner's Cock Proves You Need An Ugly Husband

So Anthony Weiner sent women pictures of his penis, both clothed and unclothed, and may have told a teenage girl he was like a superhero. Obviously, the question we should all be asking is: how did Huma fuck up this badly?

Luckily, Vicki Larson of the Huffington Post has the answer: she married a hot guy. Larson explains,

[T]he 46-year-old Weiner’s a fit, intelligent, promising politician with a six-figure income who had a reputation of a ladies’ man and was even named a Cosmo eligible bachelor — the kind of man that many, many women are drawn to.

And that’s where Abedin and other smart, beautiful, accomplished women often make their mistake. The more financially independent women become, the more they prefer good-looking men. But they don’t just want their partners to be hotties; they want them to be masculine, physically fit, loving, educated, a few years older and making the big bucks. Oh, and they also have to really want to be a hubby and daddy.

See, ladies, if you set your sights too high, you will end up with a man who sends other ladies pics of his waxed chest. Because sexy men just can’t help sexting — and it’s even worse if they’re also loving, and want to be a “hubby and daddy.” Obviously Larson’s allegation that being relationship-minded somehow makes men more likely to stray is a little bizarre, but let’s look at her larger point, that “attractive men don’t make the best husbands” and “we’d be smarter if we sought out guys who are uglier than we are.”

Of course, Jimmy Soul famously told dudes to “get an ugly girl to marry you.” But it’s usually women who are supposed to ignore — or even actively go against — their physical attractions in order to secure a man who’s good husband material. This advice rests on a number of dumb assumptions — that all straight women find the same guys good-looking, that good-looking guys simply can’t control their cheating, and, most damaging and fucked-up of all, that women will be totally fine and fulfilled in relationships where they don’t feel sexual attraction. Sure, when Larson says Huma “should go ugly” with her next guy (should she decide to “split from Weiner now, before their unborn baby will have memories of the divorce, and while she’s still young and attractive enough to snag another mate”), maybe she means, find a man you and only you find sexy. But that’s a tall order, and the message a lot of women get is that finding a dude sexy is dangerous, because it will cloud your ability to gauge whether he’ll be a good, faithful provider. Oh, and because other ladies are probably checking him out too.

However, there’s pretty much no man so “ugly” that you’re the only woman in the world who will ever want him. Nor does a man looking hot to you necessarily mean he’ll be a chick-magnet — even the supposedly overly handsome Weiner is by no means slavered over by 100% of womanity. Taking “ugliness” as an indicator of fidelity is likely to get you into trouble — imagine if the dude finds out you married him because you thought he was too hideous to cheat. And even irrespective of these concerns, the idea that wanting to fuck your partner shouldn’t matter to women is likely responsible for a lot of divorces, and even more sexually dissatisfied women. When we assume that desire is a prerequisite for men in relationships, but not for women, we make a serious, serious error. And while we’re pointing out errors, when a politician tweets his dick at a stranger, should we really be asking where his wife went wrong?