Kylie Jenner Is Right

THERE’S NO MILK INHERE AND THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE THANK YOU
THERE’S NO MILK INHERE AND THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE THANK YOU
Image: P

On Tuesday, Kylie Jenner tweeted an opinion about cereal that many people might think is wrong, but is actually correct. “last night i had cereal with milk for the first time,” she wrote. “life changing.”

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The responses to this tweet are fast moving and tumultuous, like a whitewater rafting trip gone awry. Does the cereal go in first, or does the milk? Does she eat it dry with a glass of milk on the side, Get Out-style? Is she shoving fistfuls of Cheerios into her gaping maw from a plastic bag like a toddler? Does dairy make her gassy? Or has she finally recognized that cereal served as Big Cereal intends—in a bowl, covered in milk (“mylk” if you must)—is an abomination?

Like Kylie, I have long suffered for my unpopular cereal opinion, but I’m thankful that because of Kylie, I can stand in my truth. Cereal’s appeal, aside from its ubiquity, is its texture—crunchy and crispy, like a potato chip that you can eat for breakfast. As a hand food, eaten straight out of the box, or from a small snacking bowl if you’re dignified, it’s lovely. Pouring a liquid over something so pleasant with the intent to change its texture from crunchy to soggy is a nightmare and it’s also wrong. Texturally, mushy things evoke mold, decay, and death; please do not get me started on french toast, a breakfast dish with the same operating principles as cereal (make something not mushy, mushy) that I cannot stand.

Cereal is a snack, not a meal. Milk is for children. Kylie Jenner, unfortunately this time around, is right.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

DISCUSSION

It’s true there’s a very small window between “this cereal is pleasantly crunchy in this milk” and “this has turned into a soggy cardboard mess”, which is why I end up eating a bowl of cereal as if I’m trying to break speed eating records, but really? Never in milk?

This is so far out of the realm of my experience that I literally don’t get it. Everyone in her life literally let her eat cereal straight out of the box since the day she learned to eat solid foods? If she wasn’t eating cereal for breakfast, what on earth was she eating?

This raises so many questions I’m voluntarily posting on a Kardashian-related thread. *SMH*