Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Karlie Kloss as a Half-Naked 'Indian' and Other Absurdities from the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

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Last night, the 2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was held in New York, and it was a delightfully absurd smorgasbord of flesh, wings, and lingerie. One of the most shocking get-ups? Twenty-year-old Karlie Kloss in "Native" garb.

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Even though it's been said time and time again that this is NOT COOL, even though No Doubt just pulled their video in which Gwen Stefani wears a war bonnet, even though the common consensus is when it doubt, leave it out — Karlie Kloss wore this get up on stage. A culture is not a costume, or a trend, and as Adrienne from Native Appropriations puts it, "playing Indian still relegates Native peoples to stereotypical character tropes… our Nation has created a narrative in which blackface=racist, while redface=normal." And:

Blackface=dressing up in a stereotypical costume of a race that is not your own, drawing upon a history of racism and inequality. Playing Indian=dressing up in a stereotypical costume of a race that is not your own, drawing upon a history of racism and inequality. Clear enough for you?

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Bottom line: THIS IS RACIST.

Will Victoria's Secret keep this outfit in the actual fashion show when it airs December 4? We'll see!

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Aside from the war bonnet, many of the outfits just seemed to be about feathers. And how pretty they are.

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White Swan.

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Snow Angel of Death.

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Showgirl.

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Saphhire angel, or something.

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There was a rococo/baroque/bustle-and-corset segment of the program.

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The illusion mesh torso stuff is quite hideous.

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More feathers! Never enough feathers.

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That Theda Bara/art deco number on the end needs to teleport itself into my closet ASAP.

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One portion of the show featured the models dressed as flowers. But not in a cool, Georgia O'Keefe way. More in a Rose Bowl float way.

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Orchids and lilies and poppies and irises and something that looks like a butterfly made from slices of dragonfruit!

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Ladyflowers.

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Insert your own "secret garden" joke here.

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How does your garden grow?

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It would be great if I had a joke about pruning sheers.

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But alas, I do not.

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Moving on! Then there was a rigamarole where the models were dressed up inspired by months of the year. Examples: January (New Year's), August, and December.

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March, Leprechaun.

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April Showers. May Day.

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September? I think? I mean, that's what September means to me. A cheerleader with pompom wings.

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October witch.

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Some of the most elaborate costumes were in the Circus part of the show. For instance: Clowns with balloons. Because there's nothing sexier than a clown. With balloons. Next time you see a clown, think lingerie. See what happens.

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Here's Karlie Kloss, as the knife thrower's assistant, who will throw those knives right back at ya.

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What you're looking at right now is a woman dressed as a pink poodle jumping through a hoop. We all make choices!

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They made a big to-do about this a four-foot diamond back python made of colored Swarovski crystals and vintage crystals. It looks like shit.

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Not impressed by your snake, madam. Apologies.

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Adriana Lima, ringleader.

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Joan Smalls: Tiger, jumping through fiery hoops.

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I'll admit it, I like this one. Liu Wen as the Illustrated Woman, awesome.

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Another concept in this fashion show was "toy box." Brace yourself, because this has never happened, in the history of womankind: It's a lady dressed as a sexy cat! Groundbreaking.

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Maud Welzen, paper doll.

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Jacquelyn Jablonski as a toy Soldier.

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Jourdan Dunn, robot.

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Tinker toys? Sexy!

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A woman needs a velour hoodie like a fish needs a bicycle.

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Sock monkey, cowgirl, and whatever that other thing is.

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Judging by these shots — and the ones on her instagram — Rihanna had a really good time.

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Where have you been all my li-aye-aye-aye-aye?

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Costume change! Pearls, girls.

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Justin Bieber, possibly inside a pinball machine.

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I love my boyfriend Bruno Mars, I don't care how short he is.

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Fuck yeah, America. What a glorious use of dollars and ingenuity. USA. USA.

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Images via Getty.