I’ll be honest: sometime around the monkey-abandoning incident in Germany, I hopped aboard the Justin Bieber hatemobile, which is basically just an overloaded jalopy driven by a foul-tempered orangutan named #1JoostinHatrr (apes can’t spell). I was convinced we were watching the very public entropy of a too-successful teenage pop star, and that it was only a matter of time before the premiere of a Morgan Spurlock documentary featuring a pot-bellied, 29-year-old Bieber monologuing about fame’s pitfalls through a haze of weed smoke and vague regret. But then Justin Bieber went ahead and did one of the most hilarious internet things ever, a thing sure to send nerd culture into paroxysms of anger: he Instagrammed a picture of a Batman vs. Superman script tattooed with a watermark of his name and the teasing caption “#robin??”
Of course this can’t be real, of course this can’t be real…and yet? If Bieber was really up for a role as Robin opposite the much-derided Afflecked Batman, it would be proof that the movie industry has nothing but the strongest, most unbridled contempt for comic book fans, which is kind of hilarious. If Bieber really isn’t up for a role as Robin? Well, it ought to prove that he’s maybe self-aware enough to avoid a mid-life arrest warrant. [The Daily Beast]
- Speaking of the law and the fracturing thereof, Kanye West has been charged with criminal battery and attempted grand theft for his LAX paparazzi rumble. [TMZ]
- Yesterday, Jaden Smith tweeted some weird, anti-education stuff like this:
[Twitter]
- James “That’s DOCTOR to You, Philistine” Franco really enjoyed working on The Mindy Project, thankssomuchforasking. [ET]
- Only Ellen has magic strong enough to permanently reunite the Spice Girls. [Buzzfeed]
- Sandra Bullock asked a real-life astronaut to give her the Cliff Notes rundown of space so she could prepare for her new movie, Gravity. [Mashable]
- Emma Thompson executed some hilarious poses on the red carpet at the Toronto Film Festival. [Telegraph]
- Omar Gooding was charged with a DUI and possession of a plant that makes one silly. [TMZ]
- Kiefer Sutherland thinks it’s just gosh-darned splendiferous that Charlie Sheen got his high school diploma after all these years. [TMZ]
- Lamar Odom‘s former roommate says Lamar Odom was so into crack that he embarked on crafts projects where he’d fashion crack pipes out of copper pad scraps and old boxes, just like Martha Stewart. [TMZ]
- David Tutera and his ex Ryan Jurica will raise their twins separately, because when David Tutera gets divorced, he goes full-tilt divorce and creates a Parent Trap situation for himself. [People]
- DOCTOR James Franco thinks Ben Affleck should not only star in, but also direct the new Batman vs. Superman movie, but I think the internet would be far happier if James Franco directed it from a script written by Ghost William Faulkner. [E!]