Last night on LKL, Judge Judy—who, two years ago, officiated a wedding between two men—spoke out on gay marriage, saying that the "federal government has to be involved to ensure that all people have those basic rights."
Awesome. Judge Judy has replaced the Maldivian profanity guy as my first choice for a vow-renewal officiant:
"Do you two idiots promise to stand up straight and look me in the eye, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, from this day forth, because beauty fades but dumb is forever, as long as you both shall live? Ah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah! I am NOT finished yet! You listen to ME! Sir? SIR! You may pee on your bride's leg while you tell her it's raining."