Imagine If Prince William and Britney Spears Had a Little Fling

It seems difficult to believe this delicious nugget of gossip, presented by biographer Christopher Andersen, but because it is the holiday season and we could all use a nibble of cheer, let’s lean in to this fantasy. Apparently Prince William and Britney Spears tried to “get together” at some point back in the day?

Here’s the full monty, courtesy of Us Weekly:

“[William and Spears] tried to get together back when they were young, and he also had a kind of similar cyber relationship with Lauren Bush, the model and the niece of President [George W.] Bush,” Andersen exclusively told Us Weekly on Tuesday.

The journalist claimed that while the Duke of Cambridge, now 39, and the pop star, also 39, were in contact, their relationship never escalated. “There may have been phone conversations, but I don’t recall that they ever actually managed to get together during that period,” he said.

Though I understand that the use of “cyber” in this British man’s interpretation of this relationship that wasn’t is likely referring to emails and not anything else untoward, there is something very funny about imagining Prince William attempting to “cyber” with Britney Spears or, hilariously, and somehow perfectly, Lauren Bush (??).

Britney herself confirmed that something akin to this rumor, with an interesting twist. In a 2002 interview, she said that the two “exchanged emails for a little bit, and he was supposed to come and see [her] somewhere but it didn’t work out.” Excuse me?! So, what I’m hearing here is that William tried to holler, then was incapable of sealing the deal, perhaps because he is a prince or for other extenuating circumstances, so instead, he chose to marry Kate Middleton, and the rest is history.

Still, the thought of Prince William and Britney Spears engaging in a brief but passionate dalliance, away from the watchful eyes of his dad, her dad, and the entire world, is a beautiful fantasy, a discarded Hallmark Christmas movie that never got made, but should have.

Maybe there’s a hint of regret here that Andersen is glossing over; I’m sure William is happy or something like it with Kate. But maybe in the darkest corners of his bedroom at whatever fucking palace he lived in as a teen, there’s a box that contains all his correspondence with these women—relics of the days where he tried to sow them oats as far as the eye can see. [Us Weekly]

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Please enjoy Seth Rogen talking to Jimmy Fallon (ugh) about how he and his wife got stoned as hell, then wound up in the front row of Adele’s concert special, without realizing that it would be filmed and on TV.

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