I Now Pronounce These Two Allowed to Fuck

Illustration for article titled I Now Pronounce These Two Allowed to Fuckem/em

Ciara and Russell Wilson are officially husband and wife, which means these two extraordinarily attractive goobers will finally have s*xual intercourse! With each other! For the very first time! S*x!

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Just four months after Russell presented Ciara with a snow-capped glacier to wear on her finger as a sign of their engagement, the couple is now one step closer to breaking the celibacy bond they put in place when they began dating in early 2015. They’re gonna s*x.

I mean, look at this. You know they want to.

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Also, like AAAAHH-OOOOOGAAA!

Details about the wedding are slim. We know that it happened and that it took place at a castle in Liverpool. We also (probably) know that following the wedding, s*x will be had by the happy couple.

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Yesterday, Russell seemed very excited about starting this new chapter of his life with his beautiful bride. One must also assume that he is happy about the imminent s*x. A man can only watch the “Ride” video so many times, people.

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In related news, my bet is that Ciara will be pregnant by September.

Ciara and Russell, I’m thrilled for you. You’re both very hot and you deserve s*x. Especially with each other.

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Image via Getty.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

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fondue process

Interestingly, “s*x” could also be interpreted as “six”, which is coincidentally exactly how many seconds their first bang sesh will last.