I Chugged Sauv Blanc With Kristen, the Villain of Vanderpump Rules
In DepthAbove, you’ll find a video of the most incredible day of my life.
Kristen Doute is a cast member on Vanderpump Rules, which just wrapped up its third season following a group of amoral, sexually indiscriminate friends who work at Real Housewife Lisa Vanderpump‘s West Hollywood restaurant, SUR. Kristen is the unofficial “villainess” of Vanderpump Rules, and in an average scene she can generally be relied upon to be either sobbing, scheming, or telling someone to “walk the fuck away.”
The idea for this interview, since I had a cold, was to somehow get Kristen drunk without drinking too much myself, but this gal was going sip for sip and I couldn’t back down. Since Kristen is something of a racehorse in terms of alcohol tolerance and I am closer to, say, a hamster, this plan resulted in me getting wasted and saying things like “samesies” out loud, on camera.
I was hopeful that at some point during our conversation Kristen would confront me, Bravo-style, over the extremely unflattering ode to her crazy that I wrote back in December, but no—this amazonian reality star (she wore 8-inch heels with “Las Vegas,” “New York,” and “Miami” emblazoned on the straps) was nice as hell. She doesn’t know what Brooklyn is and her favorite descriptor is “ratchet”; I immediately felt a deep, confusing sense of kinship.