How to Effectively Dispose of a Cursed, Possessed, or Haunted Doll
You always think you won’t believe in a haunted doll until one finds its way into your home...
Not So Deep Thoughts

When you’re a millisecond away from falling into a deep slumber, what is the recurring thought—a regret, an embarrassing moment, a chance not taken—that barges into your brain and makes it impossible to hit your REM cycle? For me, it’s the lingering mystery of the current whereabouts of a gaggle of haunted antique dolls I once used for a film shoot. I don’t believe that they’re in my home any longer, but I don’t know for sure…
About four years ago, I needed said gaggle of dolls but didn’t want to spend too much money acquiring them. A Twitter mutual I followed, because we shared a recently deceased ex-lover (spooky!), tweeted that she was gifted a bunch of dolls because an older woman in her history lecture club had misheard her saying that she “loved dogs” as “loved dolls” and offloaded a collection of old dolls onto her. I sent a DM, and a different friend secured the box of dolls in Los Angeles and shipped them cross-country to me in NYC. The box contained about eleven dolls in varying levels of deterioration, all with intact eyes that bore straight into my soul. They were perfect for my low-budget comedy horror. Thank you, girls (and one weird boy doll you can see below that looked like Tim Blake Nelson).

On set, we all joked that they were the haunted remains of industrial-age child laborers and that they were keeping an eye on us to make sure no one was violating labor laws. Crew members teasingly passed the box of them back and forth, no one wanting to keep this particular set of props with them overnight or in their car. After wrapping the film, trashing them with leftover crafty and other cheap disposable props didn’t feel quite right. I took them home and kept them in a misshapen Home Depot cardboard box in my hallway closet.
As the months passed by, I stuffed them further and further to the back with each seasonal closet switchover. I knew I had to eventually get rid of them but…how? Marie Kondo didn’t prepare me for how to discard of items that filled my soul with a chilling fear.
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