Hold the Phone: Walgreens Is Selling a ZOMBIE DILDO

And if your tastes don’t run to realistic undead dicks — how does Walgreens know what that’s like? Never mind, Walgreens. Never mind. — they have an extensive collection of personal massagers. Like, pages worth. They really are at the corner of happy and healthy. I’m into it: it really brightens up your evening search for some Toms of Maine toothpaste to get recommended “Doc Johnson Crystal Jellies 7 Function Dong 8 inch Pink.” I’d never think to older a dildo from Walgreens, but the more you know!