Here's a Panda Masturbating On Film for the First Time

Good evening: Tonight’s squee is brought to you by this furiously masturbating panda.

Shanghaiist reports that this panda was shot on film by World Wildlife Federation researchers who have decided to share the unrestrained beauty of a panda feeling himself with the world. THE WORLD. What a gift! Could this be the thing that brings us all together? (Probably not, but I’ll always watch a masturbating panda.) (Put that on my tombstone.)

In order to give regular readers of SQUEE! a rare glimpse at the process that goes into curating adorable videos for you every day, please enjoy the following conversation I had with Laura Beck, with whom I search for adorable videos every day and to whom I give none of the credit for her work. Mainly because she doesn’t agree that a panda jerking it is adorable.

me: Here is a masturbating panda.

Laura: is that a squee?

me: its a masturbating panda

Laura: is it adorable?!?!!?

me: its a masturbating panda

Laura: i don’t think it’s adorable

me: I don’t understand the question. It’s a panda enjoying the pleasures that only a good genital fondling can bring.

Laura: good point. you’re so smart.

me: good looking, too! See you tomorrow.

Laura: Miss you already, boo boo.

(Creative liberties were taking with this post.)

H/T: Shanghaiist

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin