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At least once a year, the Internet erupts into a wild argument about whether or not it’s okay for women to wear leggings. Heads roll, teeth gnash, and Twitter runs blue with mentions. The first leggings skirmish of 2018 began with an opinion piece from the only paper that rolls itself up to be used as a shit-stirrer: the New York Times.

Honor Jones titled her piece “Why Yoga Pants Are Bad For Women,” but it should probably be called “Why Yoga Pants Are Bad For Honor Jones But This Article is Good For Traffic.” On a cold day, Jones chose to wear sweatpants to the gym instead of one of the pairs of yoga pants she admits to owning. Jones claims that after getting on the elliptical in this cursed drawstring leg sack, women gave her “funny looks.” While I was not there, I am almost entirely certain this is not true.

Jones went on to wonder, why had sweatpants fallen out of fashion? There is a good point to be made about how athleisure is marketed to women, and the pressure to conform to standards of beauty even in moments that are supposed to be for ourselves. But it gets a little muddied by paragraphs like this:

It’s not good manners for women to tell other women how to dress; that’s the job of male fashion photographers. Women who criticize other women for dressing hot are seen as criticizing women themselves — a sad conflation if you think about it, rooted in the idea that who we are is how we look. It’s impossible to have once been a teenage girl and not, at some very deep level, feel that.

Yes, a woman telling a woman she is bad for dressing hot is wrong because it means you’re telling her she is bad on the inside, which is wrong because being hot doesn’t mean you’re good, which means teenage girls are hurt. Thank you, teacher.

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Jones also makes the point that the quality, cuteness, and expense of fancy work out clothes imply women should wear them all the time, and will then feel as though their only purpose is fitness. But it doesn’t actually seem like Jones would care if you worked out until your joints disintegrated. Just don’t do it at her gym in something you feel sexy in or that she feels unsexy looking at (emphasis mine):

Women can, of course, be fit and liberated. We may be able to conquer the world wearing spandex. But wouldn’t it be easier to do so in pants that don’t threaten to show every dimple and roll in every woman over 30?

TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT TROLL ALERT. First of all, if Jones wants to see a firm ass that has survived its 30-year shelf life, she can DM me. Secondly, don’t write a a half-baked take on leggings, throw on some body-shaming icing and an ageist cherry, then serve it to me like dessert. It’s trash bait, and you know it!

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Finally—well played. Well. Played.