Happy (Belated) Birthday to Wee Leprechaun Rob Kardashian

Illustration for article titled Happy (Belated) Birthday to Wee Leprechaun Rob Kardashian
Screenshot: Instagram

Listen, this is purely speculation, and I don’t know if it is true or not, but it must be said: Do we think that Rob Kardashian is a leprechaun?

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Per the rags, the boy Kardashian turned 34 on Wednesday, which also happens to be St. Patrick’s Day (a fake holiday in America for green beer and cabbage lovers). His family threw him a birthday party that is the kind of party fit for either a nine-year-old or a leprechaun. I understand that his birthday is on St. Patrick’s Day, and so that was probably an easy theme for a family who really loves a theme, but he’s in his mid-30s now. Is this necessary?

Hollywood Life informs me that aside from this leprechaun-forward decor scheme, there were also two cakes: “one a white-frosted cake topped with fruits and green icing vines that read, “Happy Birthday Rob!” The other paid homage to Rob’s love of sports, and was a cake shaped like a giant baseball on a green field of frosting. Here’s a fun fact: Rob happens to be a big deal in the world of rare sports card collecting.”

Okay. Again, this is the birthday party for a very rich nine-year-old or, perhaps, Rob Kardashian, who is not a nine-year-old whether at heart or in corporeal form, because he is actually a leprechaun.

Nothing in leprechaun lore states explicitly that leprechauns are born on St. Patrick’s Day exclusively, but they are reclusive and mischievous, obsessed with gold, and not interested in seeing people all that often. Rob Kardashian is rarely seen in public, would like to earn more money, and probably tries to stay the fuck away from his family as much as he can. These similarities are uncanny. Rob Kardashian might be a leprechaun.

If that fairy tale does not interest you, then perhaps you will be interested in the shenanigans of Leprechaun Rob’s younger half-sisters, Princess Kylie and Princess Kendall, who got drunk on Kendall’s tequila brand and made people angry about it.

Have a great day. [Hollywood Life]


Two small news items from the social medias:

Beyoncé would like to remind you that she has 28 Grammys and her child, Blue Ivy, who is nine years old, has one. Watch this video if you fell asleep for the Beyoncé portion of the Grammys and you will see Blue Ivy enjoying a beverage using her Grammy as a cup.

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Madame Eyelash, who has had GREEN hair with BLACK ROOTS for what feels like 5 years, revealed that she was now BLONDE and NOW it appears that the green hair and the black roots was a WIG?!?!

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  • Caitlyn Jenner was on The Masked Singer in an attempt to show trans kids that “you can live your life authentically.” [People]
  • Fucked up that Emratatata looks gorgina even while in labor?? [Page Six]
  • Zaddy Malik and Gigi Hadid continue to be my favorite low-key, beautiful, famous people parents. [Us Weekly]
  • Once upon a time, Shaq had to leave a basketball game because he got IcyHot on his balls. [Bossip]

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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