Grittney SPOTTED!! Orange Ingenue Seen FLAUNTING Bikini Body Through Streets of London

Illustration for article titled Grittney SPOTTED!! Orange Ingenue Seen FLAUNTING Bikini Body Through Streets of London
Screenshot: Twitter (@RiotRogers

No wonder there’s panic in the industry! Grittneythe unofficial Philadelphia Flyers mascot, essentially the gnostic feminine Lilith to Gritty’s institutionally approved Adam, created by genius seamstress, prop maker, and cosplayer Riot Rogers—was spotted RUNNING nearly NAKED down the streets of London in an apparent celebration of Donald Trump losing Pennsylvania on Saturday and, thus, the 2020 presidential election.

Locals gasped, jaws agape, at the gargantuan hirsuite starlet as she FLAUNTED her BIKINI BODY in a BARELY-THERE, American flag-print two-piece. In her manicured hands, Grittney held a sign, one side bearing the message “YOU FUCKED AROUND,” the other side saying “YOU FOUND OUT.” Another pap shot finds her holding ANOTHER sign, this one reading “LOL BYE.”

It’s unclear at press time WHY Grittney was out there GALLIVANTING across the POND rather than the Flyers’ hometown. Perhaps she expatriated in PROTEST of the Philadelphia City Council’s consistent REFUSAL to build a Nobu in Center City no matter HOW many TIMES she has ASKED them to? Maybe she wanted precisely one (1) fish and/or chip? Stick with Jezebel dot cromb as this story develops……

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  • In non-Grittney news, Chet Haze is still Like This. [Twitter]
  • Susan Kelechi Watson from This Is Us is single now! [Bossip]
  • And oh my god I hate Alec Baldwin so much.

Freelance journalist (GQ, Esquire, Out, elsewhere), here on weekends

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snide-o-mite
Snide-O-Mite

I need someone to explain why This Is Us is a good show and not grief porn.

My in-laws watch it, and the only clips I’ve seen have people crying or fighting or having these big, heavy dramatic moments all the time.