I know, I don't understand, either. But, in the wise words of Busey, just picture it like you're in a romantic movie, but it's just you and your body parts. OK, I can do that!
Here's ways in which Gary Busey says you can sex yourself up with just an inner tube and a beautiful river:
For the dudes:
With the inner tube flat, cut a hole in it that's the size of your member. Purchase rubber hosing from "the marine supply office depot" and put the hosing to the hole. Insert "your pleasure body parts" into the hole and "pump and fuck" the inner tube "from the top of the river to the bottom of the river."
For the ladies:
Place a battery charged pleasure device on the exterior of the inner tube, insert yourself on the device, and you're done! Don't worry about getting pregnant, as Gary says, "You won't get pregnant. The innertube won't get pregnant, nor will the woman. Nor will the woman."
Well, folks, now you know how to masturbate with an innertube, and you also know what happens when you do all the drugs in North America.
[via Hyper Vocal]