Illustration for article titled Free Your Mind, Wear a Skirted Swimsuit This Summer
Screenshot: ModCloth

While perusing fashion websites that target a much higher tax bracket than my own for summer style trends to recreate at Forever 21, I stumbled upon a Vogue article titled, “Swim Skirts Are the Retro Trend to Try This Summer.” I can only assume the publication failed to keep in mind plus-size people when they wrote it; I’ve been burden by skirt-suit only options for as long as I can remember.

It wasn’t too many years ago when extended family members “gently suggested” I cover up more, as if two or three inches of additional fabric would make me less monstrous to have the displeasure of looking at. However, in the time since puberty, and, well, this morning, I’ve decided swim skirts are super dang cute and it is high time they get the praise they deserve—even if it feels like Vogue is extremely late to the party.


Consider skirted swimsuits the skorts of the sea. Certain styles could pass off as traditional clothing, which has endless benefits: haven’t done laundry in a while? Skirted swimsuit. Need to go to the hotel bathroom from the pool and don’t really wanna put on robe or dress or some other garment? Skirted swimsuit. Developed a late-in-life affinity for vintage styles and are distressed that 1920s-era swimsuits are nearly impossible to locate in vintage stores? Skirted swimsuit. Have junk in the truck that inevitably provides you with a wedgie anytime you smoosh your rump into that unmistakeable polyurethane, polyester, and nylon mixed-material Spanx that is a swimsuit? Well, that might be unavoidable, but surely a skirted swimsuit will provide you with just enough extra material. Some of your butt might become visible, but not all, and isn’t that what everyone wants in a fashionable fit?

Try it, you’ll like it.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands from NKOTB to BTS, is out 7/21/20.

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