Let’s check in on on Fiona, the baby hippo, who is an inspiration to me and so many others in a world devoid of most pleasure, on the occasion of her six month birthday. Fiona, girl, you’ve made it! I love you.
Aside from making it to six months happy and healthy and fat, she’s also done more than I have in my entire life. According to the Rapid City Journal, she has an ice cream flavor named after her. It’s called Chunky Chunky Hippo, which feels a little rude, and is “toffee ice cream with salted roasted peanuts and milk chocolate caramel truffles.” I’m not sure how that really applies to Fiona, a precious angel with smooth yet rubbery skin and the patience of a saint, but it does sound delicious. Also, last week she was made an honorary sheriff’s deputy. Fiona! I’m so proud.