Family Stages Kidnapping to Teach Boy That Life Is Cruel and Awful
LatestIn a news story ripped straight from the first season of Arrested Development, three Missouri women have been charged with kidnapping and child abuse after they staged the kidnapping of a 6-year-old who they believed to be “too nice” and not aware of “stranger danger.”
The unnamed boy’s mother, aunt and grandmother decided to teach the boy a lesson by enlisting the aunt’s co-worker in a very reasonable kidnapping scheme that involved the child being lured into a pickup, being told he’d be “nailed to a shed wall” and then being threatened with a handgun when he wouldn’t stop crying. As the Associated Press reports, the boy, who was told he wouldn’t “ever see his mommy again” was held for a while in the co-worker’s basement—tied up and blindfolded, of course—before being released “upstairs” where he was hit with the debriefing part of his ordeal, a stern lecture by family about the dangers that strangers pose to small children, while completely missing the irony that the child would likely be safer in the pickup of a real stranger who is not a psychopath than at the hands of his loving family.