It's been a hard week for white people afraid to come to terms with the fact that racism is alive and well in this great country. Why, we have Obama in the white house and people can sit anywhere they want on the bus. Slavery is dead. Who can we blame for bringing racism back? Gays. Dan Savage, specifically.
If mental illness (most convenient go-to for whites behaving badly), Kanye West or rap don't seem to be the explanation for the behavior of some dudes from Oklahoma who are awful human beings, consider blaming homosexuals, who are being celebrated for ruining the sanctity of marriage and ripping through every shred of moral decency in the world. I don't know what Dan Savage does on his weeknights to rip through the fiber of goodness that used to protect our nation, but it must be big. Actually, I feel kind of bad that I'm not doing more. I spend most of my nights working on cross-stitches and desperately trying to finish knitting at least one sock in my lifetime. I should really be trying harder; he can't do it all on his own, after all.
Raw Story reports that a senior fellow at The Family Research Council (no idea what a senior fellow does there) (perhaps another senior fellow? EH? EH?) said this about Dan Savage's influence on the men who won't let a "n****er into SAE."
"This comes at a time when you have one of our nemeses, Dan Savage, who is now having his life story being portrayed on a new sitcom on ABC," Ken Blackwell said on Tuesday's episode of the FRC radio show Washington Watch.
Uh, then why not just blame ISIS then? The logic here is so thin — Dan Savage's show is about a family with a young son who comes out of the closet, which has nothing to do with what's going on — that you may as well blame anyone for any reason. I mean why stop at Dan Savage? Why not blame Hitler? Stalin? Too many repeated viewings of Mr. Rogers as a child? What about the snake fro The Bible? Paris Hilton? Dakota Fanning in her earliest roles?
Blackwell went on:
"You know, here's a guy that's responsible for the coarsening of civil discussion and conversation being celebrated, at a time when there are knuckleheads who are still spewing from their lips the sort of nonsense that we've heard from these fraternity members," Blackwell said.
Oh, I get it. At first I gave Blackwell the benefit of the doubt and thought he was talking about the fact that we can't focus on more than one civil rights issue at a time (which is still wrong and dumb), but I get what he's saying now. He's saying that if we didn't celebrate the whoremongering banana felchers that homosexuals are, racism wouldn't exist. Of course these guys wouldn't have done this if a show that's not even on the air yet hadn't been greenlit. Of course they must all read The Hollywood Reporter and realized that, hey, if Dan Savage, with his anal sexes and Santorums and evil ungodly fornication columns was being given a thumbs up, then saying racist shit on video is also okay. I was so confused for a second.
Congratulations on solving this one, Family Research Council. And a special congratulations to senior fellow Ken Blackwell for being only the second biggest idiot this week. Let's try for number one again next time!
Picture of men in ill-fitting underwear via Shutterstock