T’is the season—to hang some ornaments, bust out the bundles of twinkly lights, and post a pic of your stupendous Christmas tree on social media for all to see. If you haven’t already done so, you might be feeling the pressure to do so; these celebs sure are, and so they’ve created elaborate Christmas tree-related content to share with their fans—but more importantly, to show other celebs that their tree is better than theirs. (And also, in some cases, to make some money off of their tree, through sponsored content.)
These trees are big; they are bold; they are a rough approximation of each celebrity tree-owner’s vivacious personality and indelible spirit. Each makes the case, implicitly, that it is the only Christmas tree in the world—but the ways in which they do so are unique and worth examining. What can we glean from these celebrities and their very thirsty Christmas tree pics—other than the fact they have the money and resources to devote to staging such elaborate scenes? Potentially nothing; but maybe something.
We already round up some thirsty trees. Here are even more.
Britney Spears
Britney Spears’s tree is resplendent with flowers, snowflakes, regular ornaments, and some other stuff I can’t make out because there’s so much of it. It has some nice light pink accents, and she poses next to it in a matching dress. She “just” put it up, but you would have never known! In my mind, that tree has always existed, and will continue to exist until the end of time.
Bad Bunny
Bad Bunny’s love of Stone Cold Steve Austin knows no bounds, and indeed, has reached his Christmas tree.
Ariana Grande and Frankie Grande
Ariana Grande had a tumultuous year, so to cap it all off, she had her Christmas tree installed on the ceiling. Checks out.
Her brother also likes the upside-down tree, but posted a much less goth photo of it.
Tyga
One question, as my colleague Megan Reynolds put it: Why so many large balls?
Caitlyn Jenner and Sophia Hutchins
Caitlyn Jenner and her girlfriend Sophia Hutchins are celebrating Christmas together in Malibu. The tree is “10 or 11 feet tall,” according to Hutchins.
Sofia Vergara
I can’t tell if Sofia Vergara’s tree is genuinely that sparkly, or it’s run through an Instagram filter. Also, she has a Cher ornament.
Gucci Mane
Did you really think Gucci Mane wasn’t gonna? He did.
Kate Hudson
Hudson posted a time-lapse video of her boyfriend Danny Fujikawa decorating her tree a while ago—but then she also posted this gauzy video of her gliding through Christmas trees for sale. Verdict: Both are thirsty.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow took me on a journey on her Instagram, first posting this “I’m so LA” shot of an outdoor Christmas tree from below, such that it looks almost as tall as a nearby palm tree. Extremely thirsty, as all “Christmas on the west coast” content is.
But then we’re transported into her home, where she cares not so much about showing off her tree, but more about the fact all the presents stacked underneath it are going to a family in need, which is nice.
And finally, she posed in front of the tree, in a sponsored post for Tous, the jeweler.
One tree, many photo opportunities. That’s efficient—efficiently thirsty.
Jonathan Van Ness
When I started watching this, I said “It’s how this is staged exactly like a Target commercial.” Then I realized it was a Target commercial.
DISCUSSION
Remember when Paltrow was a respected actress and not the televangelist equivalent of pseudoscience home therapy.
Surprised she didn’t have those egg things in the tree...