E.L. James Wants to Write Second Fifty Shades Script, Ruin Everything

Oh crap! If you enjoyed the first installment of Fifty Shades of Grey on the big screen, you’re going to be a little upset at this news: The woman who wrote the terrible books now wants to write the terrible screenplays and ruin all your sexy fun by making the dialogue even more wooden and stilted than ever.

James, who’s been rumored to be a control freak (she and the director of the first film “fought constantly” according to Variety) has never written a movie script before. But, to be honest, before Fifty Shades she’d never published a book before, so maybe she’s hoping that lightning will strike twice, making her a master screenwriter without any experience in the same way that the books have made her an internationally renowned author. By the third film, it is likely that James will not only be writing and directing the film but also starring as both Anastasia and Christian, a thing that I would most definitely pay to see in theaters.

According to Variety, James’ demands aren’t in line with what Universal is hoping to do with the movies. Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan, who’ve signed on for all three films, can’t make any plans about starring in movies outside of the franchise due to the fact that they have no idea when the next screenplay will be completed or when the movies will start shooting. And if James is given even more control over everything, the filming process may drag out considerably.

It’s expected that director Sam Taylor-Johnson and screenwriter Kelly Marcel will not be back to work with Snowqueens Icedragon on the second film due to their differences. James has, based on her contract, every right to ask for what she wants but Variety reports that other authors of successful franchises (J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer are cited) have generally been more hands-off, recognizing that there’s a difference between a five million page book and a two hour movie.