During a Summit of His Exes, Joe Jonas Linked Up With… Nathan Fielder??

Never in my life have I yearned to be a fly on the wall more than at this Saturday night dinner where Taylor Swift convened a few close friends. Because it wasn’t just another ~girl’s night~, it was a summit of four different ex-girlfriends of the Jonas Brothers, a band that apparently managed to get around in the 2000s and 2010s despite (or perhaps because of?) their Disney Channel purity rings.

Swift was joined by Sophie Turner, shining with that post-divorce glow amid her separation from Joe Jonas, as well as Gigi Hadid, who dated Jonas in the early 2010s, and Selena Gomez, who, lest you forgot or weren’t born yet, dated Nick Jonas in 2008. Swift, Turner, Hadid, and Gomez were also joined by Cara Delevingne and Brittany Mahomes (notable non-JoBro exes) for sushi at Zero Bond and—I can only imagine—a whole lot of gossip.

It was a wild linkup in this Year of Our Lord 2023 and I can’t imagine everyone was sitting at the table, going around saying positive things about Joe—who Turner recently sued for keeping their kids from her (they settled the dispute last month), and who allegedly dumped Swift years ago via a 27-second phone call. By contrast, per one 2015 report, Hadid and Joe broke up because “she honestly just wasn’t that into him.” Nothing dramatic really happened between Gomez and Nick, but if there’s one thing I remember about my childhood, it’s that he was plowing through Disney Channel starlets around that time, which I can’t imagine felt good to witness if you’re his ex.

And yet, while all that was happening, on the other coast, Joe on Saturday detailed a spontaneous, unplanned link-up with… Nathan Fielder. Via an Instagram reel in his car, Jonas recounts sending the comedian a drink, prompting Fielder to send back a bottle of mayonnaise as a show of gratitude. “So last night, I noticed Nathan Fielder was at the same restaurant I was having dinner at in L.A.,” he began the video, in which he confessed to “loving all things Nathan Fielder.” New #Squad alert???? I am actually consumed with morbid curiosity about any topics of conversation that might have come up between these two, who seemingly share little in common beyond divorce.

In any case, yet another highly public and visible dinner among Swift and her friends may not seem especially newsworthy on its surface—we’ve been seeing a lot of these over the last couple of months, often enough with the Haim Sisters. But I just can’t get over the idea of every famous woman Nick and Joe have ever dated coming together to talk a blessed amount of shit… all while Joe shares a lovely little LA lunch with Nathan Fielder. What a seismic meeting of the minds, this weekend…

• Well, first and foremost, Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her and Travis Barker’s baby boy! Wow!!! [People]
• Likely place for Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to be! [ET Online]
• Former Bachelor host Chris Harrison tied the knot and it required two different wedding ceremonies. Talk about the ~most dramatic finale ever~. [Page Six]
• It was apparently a big weekend for Bachelor Nation marriages: Congrats to Tia Booth and Taylor Mock, whose seasons I do not even vaguely remember at this point. [Us Weekly]
• Doja Cat continues to be herself on social media. [Pop Crave]
• Good luck to Katherine Schwarzenegger, who’s putting Chris Pratt—a man who by his own proud admission cannot do anything—in charge of all the holiday cooking. Thoughts and prayers. [People]
• OK, cute: Katy Perry’s three-year-old daughter Daisy Bloom pulled up to the finale of her Las Vegas residency. [Us Weekly]