No one knows what goes down behind the closed doors of a soon-to-be broken home, so when someone rebounds in record time I figure it’s their business. But to go on a romantic holiday with said rebound and Tweet photos of yourselves enjoying the sights of Italy barely a month after the divorce announcement, well, expect pearls to be clutched. Which is clearly in Ashton Kutcher playbook after he traipsed around the streets of Pisa with rumored new screenwriter girlfriend Lorene Scafaria. Though reps for the pair say they’re just friends (though they also got friendly on a trip to Montana earlier this month) it’s much more fun to believe those who say they “held hands” and “shared spaghetti” – a fourth base analogy if ever there was one. Adding an extra bit of class to the story, the new couple apparently kicked things up a notch back in February when he was married to Demi Moore and she was dating Adam Brody. “Ashton started seeing her while each was in a relationship,” said a gossipy little someone. And with that the pearls have now been pulverized to a dust. [US]
The Kardashian‘s former nanny is shopping around a tell-all book about her experiences working for the krew. Claiming that boys Brody and Brandon were so bad – and herself to be pretty unprofessional – she almost lost her job after slapping one of them, Pam Behan also promises to deliver some “intimate details” about Kourtney and Kim. The whole idea becoming temporarily icky upon hearing that the girls
Sweatshop scandal veteran Kathie Lee Gifford rang Kris Jenner to offer support over the family’s now second most recent drama. [Radar]
You won’t be seeing Elle Fanning‘s ass hanging out the back of home-tailored denim hotpants anytime soon, with the 13-year-old saying that despite the fact she posed for the Marc by Marc Jacobs Fall 2011 campaign and cites Marilyn Monroe and Alexa Chung as her style icons she’s perfectly happy to let her childhood play out a little bit longer. “I’d much rather look like a two-year old than a 21-year-old,” she said. [US]
Robbie Williams and friends played an adult variation of a second-grade game recently — but instead of how much they’d have to be paid to kiss a boy the stakes were raised to penetration. With his pals suggesting they’d go dude-on-dude for $7.7 million, Robbie went relatively cheap at a paltry $3 million. Though he put a smile on tabloid editor’s faces during a slow holiday period by adding that he’d drop the fee considerably if it were Brad Pitt: “Brad can negotiate. It’s £2m for Santa, but it’s a freebie for Brad Pitt. How much would I have to pay him?” [Daily Telegraph]
As if the wee ones couldn’t get any more adorable, Violet and Seraphina Affleck – of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck parent fame – set up a lemonade stand with the help of their nanny outside their Pacific Palisades home. Word has it they made a killing from the paparazzi who are permanently stationed outside their place, the pair getting bonus points for slipping some liquid laxatives into the mix (we hope). [Page Six]
- They’ve been going out for some time now, but here are pictures of Lady Gaga walking with her arms publicly draped around boyfriend Taylor Kinney for the first time. [The Sun]
- Move over Gaga, Jay-Z‘s the latest to come under fire for possibly shady employee dealings. In his case, failing to pay workers’ compensation insurance for three months. [TMZ]
- Kris Humphries has a fan in Jay-Z, with the superstar watching his team lose to the Atlanta Hawks earlier this week. [Radar]
- It’s five shades of awesome seeing David and Victoria Beckham hanging out with non-specials at his sister’s 30th birthday. [Mirror]
- Everybody gets pissed when an airline loses their luggage, but pity the fool who is on the receiving end of Rachel Zoe‘s complaint call after American Airlines lost some pricey vintage and resort wear on her recent flight to St. Barts. [Page Six]
- Twihards needn’t get their knickers in a knot, because the woman Robert Pattinson was chatting to on Christmas Eve wasn’t a new Kristen Stewat rival but the ex-girlfriend of his best friend Tom Sturridge, Nettie. Apparently she doesn’t have a last name – she’s kind of like Cher in that way. [Celebuzz]
- Which is just as well because Kristen got Robert a pretty decent Christmas gift – two guitars totalling $12,000. [Hollywood Life]
- She has her own Ass Appreciation Society (which makes for morbidly fascinating reading) but Pippa Middleton is said to feel “undateable” because she’s been single for a whole month. [Page Six]
- Fans of American Horror Story get those trigger fingers ready for some constant pausing because co-creator Ryan Murphy said the secret to next season’s location can be found in clues from episode [redacted due to minor spoiler alertness, check the link]. [EW]
- Sorry Alicia Silverstone, your kid Bear Blu Jarecki has been voted as having the worst name in 2011. [NYDN]
- It’s ripe for a joke, but we’re leaving this one well enough alone seeing as he seems quite sick: Michael Lohan collapsed outside his AA meeting. [Daily Mail]
- Kings of Leon’s Caleb Followill and wife Lily Aldridge are the latest couple expecting a baby who will soon come along to steal our oxygen. [E!]
- Drake is taking some time off from hunting down his arch-nemesis tattooist to sing surprise karaoke with a fan. [E!]
- Dave Chappelle be looking ripped as he steps out to get some ice cream with his family in the Bahamas. [TMZ]
- The white powder found in Paris Hilton‘s car is due to some messy powder foundation and not the messy use of cocaine. [TMZ]
- Friends got together to raise over $10K to help pay the medical bills of blogger/model Lauren Scruggs who was badly injured in that freak plane accident earlier this month. [Radar]
- Kanye West causes an eye-roll epidemic after demanding that people refer to him as “Yeezy World Peace” on New Year’s Eve. [Vulture]
- If you have a spare 15 minutes you could find worse ways to spend it than watching this ode to Meryl Streep at The 34th Annual Kennedy Center Honors. [Ministry Of Gossip]
- It remains to be seen if Elle Macpherson will spark a tan line trend with the intriguing VPL she’s sporting. [Daily Mail]
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