Don’t Worry: Megan Fox Says She and Machine Gun Kelly Drink Each Other’s Blood ‘for Ritual Purposes Only’

You know that early infatuation stage of a relationship where you can’t keep your hands off each other and everything your partner does is still cute and you start naming your future children in your brain and it’s all so overwhelming and intense that you both just start guzzling each other’s blood? Yeah, me neither.

But a kink is a kink, and we’re not in the business of kink-shaming here. We will simply pass along—with a straight face—the fact that Megan Fox said in an interview published on Tuesday that she and her fiancé Machine Gun Kelly, née Colson Baker, drink each other’s blood in moderation. “So, I guess to drink each other’s blood might mislead people or people are imagining us with goblets and we’re like Game of Thrones, drinking each other’s blood,” she explained to Glamour UK in her first interview since the famously horny couple’s engagement earlier this year. “It’s just a few drops, but yes, we do consume each other’s blood on occasion for ritual purposes only.”

Before attempting to unpack this, let’s reminisce for a moment about the delightfully strange journey of these two vampiric lovebirds thus far. First, they met in 2020 at a GQ party in Los Angeles—a moment which she described to the magazine as such:

‘This weird thing happened,’ says Fox. ‘We didn’t see each other.’ She looks at him. ‘Do you remember [seeing] my face?’

‘That’s what’s crazy,’ he says, ‘I don’t. I don’t remember your face.’

‘I don’t remember your face… And I definitely would have remembered his face,’ she continues. ‘I just remember this tall, blond, ghostly creature and I looked up and I was like, “You smell like weed.” He looked down at me and he was like, “I am weed.” Then, I swear to God, he disappeared like a ninja in a smoke bomb.’

Tale as old as time.

Apparently, their first “kiss” was equally transcendent: “She wouldn’t kiss me,” MGK said. “We just put our lips right in front of each other and breathed each other’s breath and then she just left.”

The two continued to breathe each other’s breath until September of that year, when they inexplicably scaled the roof of iconic Sunset Strip party spot The Roxy, him dressed “like an escaped cult member in all white fatigues.”

Their relationship increasingly became a spectacle, seemingly by design, as it took off. For the the 2021 Billboard Music Awards, MGK somehow dyed his tongue entirely black and shoved it in Fox’s face all night. On Valentine’s Day that same year, he posted a photo of the vial of her blood that he wears around his neck—which she gave him to keep while she was off filming a movie, as one does. And when he proposed to her earlier this year, he did so with a ring covered in thorns so that it would literally hurt to take off her finger. “Love is pain!” she told Vogue at the time. My therapist might be sweating, but I see zero red flags.

Fox recapped the January engagement, which naturally took place under a banyan tree, in an Instagram video: “Just as in every lifetime before this one and as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes… And then we drank each other’s blood.”

This brings us to today. The actress is now having to explain to major international fashion magazines that no, LOL, they do not drink goblets of each other’s blood—they drink much smaller amounts at a time. So everybody just chill.

Fox also lamented to Glamour UK that her calling her fiancé “daddy” in public and being sexually submissive to him has turned off some feminists, and she feels unjustly excluded from the club. “[It seems] I have to meet a certain requirement or follow all of these rules,” she says. “It’s very bizarre to get judged for, like, ‘What if I am in a BDSM relationship? And I’m like, yes – is that OK with you? Because that’s what I want.’ So, I shouldn’t be outcast from the feminist community, because that is something that I prefer for myself. I feel sexual power in that way, by experiencing it that way.”

On this, I must say, she is correct: You can call a man “daddy” and drink his blood and give him a vial of your blood to wear and show up basically naked to an awards ceremony because he told you to if it’s all consensual and that’s the kind of thing you’re into, and you can still be a feminist. A good one. A great one!

Live your best damn lives, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly. Can’t wait to see the wedding photos.