Don Jr.: I Have a Sr. Sized Dick  

The time the American public has been forced to spend contemplating the genitals of the president and his ghoulish son is time that we will never get back. Today, a fresh horror: Don Jr. bragging about the size of his Lit’l Smokey, as well as his father’s.

At the Huffington Post, Ashley Feinberg unearthed a 2007 episode of “The Adam Carolla Show,” recorded live from the Playboy Mansion, natch. In this interview, Don Jr. answered a lot of very gross questions about a wide range of things, including but not limited to whether or not he thinks his stepmother, Melania, is hot and how many Miss USA winners he’s had sex with.

Fine, fine, yes, he’s disgusting, OK yeah, we get it, let’s close this, and move right on, I’m so tired and—pardon me, what the hell is this?

Host: I got one question, Donald Jr.: When you and your pops are in the shower, who’s got the bigger package? You know what I’m saying.

Trump Jr.: You know, and I will get fired for this, but I’m never going to say that I don’t. I will get fired for that. By the way, they’re both pretty substantial I think.

My guess is that Big Trump hasn’t seen his little Trump in at least a decade and Don Jr.’s penis is roughly the size, shape, and texture of a pool noodle. This is disgusting, but I’m not even mad! At this point, we have moved past revulsion; overexposure to stories about Trump dick has made everyone dead inside!!!