Nary four months ago, we got the distinct pleasure of witnessing Gwyneth Paltrow wear a number of litigiously chic outfits while defending her skiing abilities in court. When asked what she lost after the 2016 collision on the slopes, she answered, “Well, we lost half a day of skiing.” Tragic, obviously.
Something must have clicked in that trial—the rush of questions and answers, the satisfaction of a pithy response, the thrill of oversharing—because ever since, Paltrow has been making the rounds on podcasts, including dishing to Call Her Daddy on famous exes Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt’s bedroom skills. (She called Affleck “technically excellent” in bed, for the record.)
Over the weekend, she did an AMA on Instagram, which I’m still not entirely convinced wasn’t her just feeding herself questions...since some were along the lines of, “Wow, what products do you use to look so young?” and she got to plug her Goop regimen.
Sneaky sponcon aside, some questions provided illuminating answers, including that her childhood crush was Keanu Reeves. Another question was, “You got a little homo in you or nah?” to which Paltrow responded: “These questions are epic.” Ma’am that’s not an answer... I need to know if I should send a belated pride gift basket “or nah.”
Perhaps the most disappointing—though the least surprising of the batch—was that Paltrow tends not to eat ass. The full question was, “Do you lick ass Gwineth? Xx.” (It feels worth typing out the misspelling of her name and the cheeky sign-off, as if this person is checking in on a neighbor they don’t know very well. “Popping over to ask if you eat butt, Gwen? Wishing you nothing but the best. Tata!”)
But unfortunately, Gwyneth said she does “not generally” eat ass. However, please note that she didn’t say that she never eats ass. Maybe she does that on her cheat days when she isn’t slurping down bone broth as a little treat. Bon appetite!
- Jordyn Woods was spotted at dinner with ex-BFF Kylie Jenner over the weekend. [People]
- Halle Bailey’s boyfriend, DDG, joined the ranks of dudes unable to handle their girlfriends being out and about living their life. [E!]
- “I’ll just hopefully drop dead in the middle of a song onstage”: Dolly Parton on her ideal transition into the afterlife. [Page Six]
- Another queen did transition into the afterlife, RIP Jane Birkin. [NY Times]
- Hot Pepaw alert! The “Golden Bachelor” has been revealed. [Variety]