Congratulations to Heidi Klum, Who Is Unexpectedly Married

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In all fairness, Heidi Klum and her formerly affianced, Tokio Hotel guitarist Tom Kaulitz, very much knew that they were going to get married and simply opted not to announce it to any of us. Which is fair!

The pair recently acquired a marriage license and did the ceremony without any media attention, though Klum has previously said she would have a “medium-sized” ceremony with a big dress that would start promptly at the time listed on the invitation:

“We’re two Germans,” Klum said. “It will be very organized and on time. Very, very much on time and very organized.”

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I can get behind all of that. Congrats, you punctual Germans, you. [US Weekly]


In less pleasant news, Jenelle Evans allegedly told police she made up that horrific story about her husband killing the family dog in order to get publicity, according to a press release partially reprinted in Page Six:

“Jenelle stated that the reason she filed the animal cruelty report was for the publicity and because she did not know where her dog was,” officials reportedly said in the release.

Evans originally claimed that her husband, David Eason, shot the dog after it snapped at their child, a story Eason initially seemed to confirm. But according to the press release, Evans has changed the story and the charges have been dropped. So where is the dog? [Page Six]

  • Miley Cyrus’s beloved Pig Pig has crossed the rainbow bridge to that big slop trough in the sky. You’ll be missed, Pig Pig. [Us Weekly]
  • Nicole Kidman, who seems like and heretofore has been a cat person, is now a dog person. [Page Six]
  • In another Miley news item, Hannah Montana didn’t fuck, and Miley found it hard to play her once she did. Method acting is not without its drawbacks. [People]

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