Comment of the Day: Twas the Night Before Palin

Illustration for article titled Comment of the Day: Twas the Night Before Palin

Seize just. Seize takes the day. The month, maybe. And perhaps the year — it remains to be seen if anything can top this instant Christmas favorite:

Twas the night before Christmas, or at least looked that way
In Wasilla it snows until April or May.
I sat up in my bed and while darling Todd snored
I puzzled at how I'd see my fame restored

My children are no longer knocked up nor wedding,
Nor Dancing With Stars, nor lame rednecks bedding.
And mamma is no longer Gov in Juneau;
Yep, all that I'm boss of is this fucking snow.

When into my brain popped such a bright notion,
I sprang from the bed to put my plan in motion.
To my Blackberry I flew like a flash,
And texted my ghostwriter, "Want some more cash?"

The lustrous white color of the new-fallen snow
Had brought to mind Christian oppression, donchaknow?
And when are poor Christians more sorely oppressed,
Than Xmas, that day our Lord Jesus so blessed.

Oh, we'll dash off a missive of grieved anecdotes
And pepper it through with misleading quotes
They rubes, how they'll love it! And I'll be back in vogue
I'll double the sales from last time I went Rogue!

I crept back in bed, with my eyes all a-twinkle
My dilemma was solved like a Botox-smoothed wrinkle
I laid my head on my pillow with a smile on my face
Merry Christmas to the suckers who'll buy this disgrace!

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Celia the Vampire Slaying Vampire

Oh, Seize <3 This is brilliant! Well-deserved #COTD. And as is proper, I award you this (16th birthday?) cake.