FigJam wrote about his desire to be crafted into a sexy sex toy, a la the Just-iN Beaver love doll:

I wish someone would make a sex doll out of me. Not sure anyone's interested in a middle-aged fat guy with an "average" penis doll, but if so, I'm ready to model!

I don't know, there's something really endearing about that, and it took our minds off the election, if for a brief moment. Thank you, FigJam — and good luck to you, sir.

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