Cardi B's Coat of Many Feathers Is the Only Acceptable Outfit for Court

Illustration for article titled Cardi Bs Coat of Many Feathers Is the Only Acceptable Outfit for Court
Image: via Getty

Cardi B showed up to a Queens court on Tuesday in an absolutely breathtaking feather coat and hat, rivaling Helena Bonham Carter’s recent London debut as a silky chicken. She might be facing felony assault charges (for allegedly attacking two women at a strip club in 2018) but has committed zero crimes of fashion. So sorry, I know this joke is terrible, my brain is very broken, I am drunk on all the feathers.

Not to mention the nails, which I presume glow in the dark:

Illustration for article titled Cardi Bs Coat of Many Feathers Is the Only Acceptable Outfit for Court
Image: via Getty
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Look at that train! This is how I envision the dinosaurs, now that Science has determined they were actually covered with feathers instead of scales.

Illustration for article titled Cardi Bs Coat of Many Feathers Is the Only Acceptable Outfit for Court
Image: via AP

Let’s just take one more look at the nails, shall we?

Illustration for article titled Cardi Bs Coat of Many Feathers Is the Only Acceptable Outfit for Court
Image: via Getty

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

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DISCUSSION

adrastra
Adrastra, patron saint of not giving a fuck

Man, that January Vogue cover is going to age overnight if she winds up convicted on felony assault charges.

Maybe, just maybe, if we wouldn’t be celebrating a man for allegedly assaulting two women, we possibly should also not be glorifying women who have allegedly assaulted two women. Can’t imagine there’d be positive coverage praising a guy’s sartorial choices while headed into his felony assault trial on Jezebel.