Candy Is Good For Kids, And Dietary Science Will Drive Us All Insane

In case you weren’t confused enough about what you should be putting in your body, a new study shows that eating candy may prevent obesity and heart disease.

According to CBS, researchers studied the diets and weights of 11,000 kids and teenagers. Teens who ate candy were 26% less likely than teens who didn’t — for younger kids, the figure was 22%. What’s more, candy-eaters had lower levels of C-reactive protein, a marker that’s been linked to heart disease. Thus candy was correlated not just with lower BMI, but also with a size-independent measure of health.

The study raises a lot of questions — are overweight kids simply barred from eating candy by parents who want them to diet? Does a little candy every now and then keep kids from binging? Could there be some compound in candy that’s actually good for the heart? Given that the researchers seem to have lumped all candy together, it’s hard to say what that compound would be — my money’s on that stuff inside Pixie Stix. Whatever the case, this week’s take-home appears to be that diet soda is dangerous, but candy is healthy! Except not — says lead study author Carol O’Neil,

The results of this study should not be construed as a hall-pass to overindulge. Candy should not replace nutrient-dense foods in the diet; it is a special treat and should be enjoyed in moderation.

Perplexed? You should probably eat some Skittles. Next we’ll find out they make you smarter.