Booty Calls: When Will They Stop!?

I have nothing against the actual practice of booty calling…except for when they continue to happen to my phone months and months after I’ve been in a committed relationship.

My phone rang in the middle of the night during the week, after I was fast asleep. My curiosity of who it might be wasn’t strong enough to get me out of bed. Mainly because I knew that if it were an emergency, they’d call back. They didn’t. And that sort of confirmed my suspicion: It was a booty call.

I’ve gotten calls like that while someone was in the bed next to me, and it’s kind of uncomfortable, but it just feels plain weird when you’re in a committed relationship with that person. Weirder still, if that person is your fiancé. When I woke up the next morning, there was no voicemail, but the call history showed the name of someone I’d hooked up with a couple of times about a year ago, and hadn’t really talked to since.

My fiancé asked me who it was, since the call had woken him up, too. I replied honestly, saying, “No one.”

There have been similar incidents. About a month earlier, I got a text at 4 AM from a different guy I hadn’t spoken to in like 10 months that said simply, “Cha cha.” I laughed when I saw it. I wasn’t offended, since I used to be the queen of similarly open-ended mass booty texts that I would send out to a bunch of different dudes stored in my phone, at last call.

But, obviously, my social life is way different now. And I know that at one point, I seemed like a consummate bachelorette who could be relied upon for a good time, but I’ve been engaged for seven fucking months now. Even when I was pulling booty-calling stunts, I had a set of logic that went with it, like that I wouldn’t think to contact someone I hadn’t heard from in several menstrual or ANTM cycles.

What the hell is the statue of limitations on booty call candidacy? And will still I have to marvel at dudes’ idiocy on these matters once I’m actually married?