Book Report! America's Next Top Model: Fierce Guide To Life

ANTM is set to release a book on April 7 that is “The Ultimate Source of Beauty, Fashion, and Model Behavior.” Lucky for you, we have a copy. Full report, after the jump!

The book is written on about a third or fourth grade reading level—with lots of large fonts — which makes sense, because the author, J.E. Bright, appears to be the king of writing books based on children’s movies and TV shows. (He also appears to be “fierce,” as he lives in SoHo with his two cats.)

Overall, the book is pretty janky, and looks like it was thrown together rather quickly, using stills from the show, and clip art:

Even the cover (pictured above, left) is just a shot of all the girls from Cycle 5, pre-makeover episode, which is an automatic fierce fail, in my book…if I had one.

Essentially, the book is supposed to be a guide for girls looking into breaking into the modeling industry, giving them tips divided into these sections: Beauty, Fashion, Modeling, and Business. The intro states:

Simply dreaming about becoming a model is not enough. The work requires and enormous amount of determination, persistence, and stamina…as well as commitment to beauty that goes above and beyond the usual standards of attractiveness.

The mantra from the book (besides perverting the word “fierce”) is that “beauty is something you create, not something you’re born with,” which seems to negate all the inner-beauty talk that goes on both on the show and in the book. Unless, of course, the idea is that inner-beauty, too, is our own creation, in which case, I smell an inner-beauty MAKEOVERRRRR!!!

Here are some Inner Beauty tips from the book:
Treat yourself

Play

Breathe

Meditate

Smile

Take a bath

Perform a Random Act of Kindness

Seriously, if you have to be reminded to breathe, then you are lacking a lot more “inner” than simply beauty.

Also, bathing? To make your insides beautiful?

No thanks.

According to the book, another part of “beauty” is self-confidence, which, if you’re a fan of the show, you know is an essential tool for deluding yourself into such a career as modeling, and the perfect target for manipulation in order to create reality-television gold.

The picture used for the self-confidence page is by far my favorite, as illustrating a feeling goes:

Speaking of Toccara, let’s review some random-ass quotes on “body beauty.”:

Yes, you should fully embrace your body with all of its flaws, but it also doesn’t hurt to consider a little clothing camouflage either. The savvy model knows how to dres herself to accentuate her positive body aspects and minimize the negative ones.
If you are a tiny bit shorter than necessary, always wear high-heel shoes—practically sleep with them on! And compensate by being intensely striking.
A scrawnier body photographs most appropriately for fashion.

Hey, who wants some helpful high heels hints?

Now, something from the “plus-size” page:

Because full-figure models represent the interests of ‘regular’ women, you are often called upon to look wholesome and beautiful in a conservative way. Tattoos and piercings are frowned upon on full-figure models even more than they are for typical models.

Which brings us to “diet tips for thinking thin,” which include, but are not limited to:
Keep a diary about everything you eat.

Find a diet buddy so you can support each other.

Tape a skinny picture of yourself on the refrigerator door.

Only keep healthy foods in the house.

Use mustard as a sandwich spread, never mayonnaise.

Don’t confuse thirst for hunger—stay hydrated!

Drink a glass of water before eating.

Eat slowly and savor each small meal.

In restaurants, order healthy appetizers instead of an entree.

All this talk about bodies means that exercise must be covered, right?

I know what you’re thinking: “Where does smiling with one’s eyes come in to play?” Why, right here.

More on eyes: “Perfectly shaped eyebrows can help you look stylish and fierce even when you’re not wearing any makeup.”

I love that the page about eyes features the most impractical eye makeup.

Are you worried that your body hair makes you “gross”? This will validate those fears:

Yes, you’re secretly a hairy beast. While there is no medical or hygienic reason to get rid of your body hair, the current standards of beauty absolutely require you to remove all hair from your armpits, legs and face for a smooth, youthful look. It’s a regular chore that every model must handle. If you’re going to be modeling a bathing suit or lingerie, you will definitely need to groom your bikini line.

Now for some tips on the biz. Know your noted fashion photographers, even if one of them only qualifies as such in ANTM contract alone.

Also, Twiggy has some advice, even though we haven’t heard from her in two Cycles:

Terrence Howard would be happy to see this “model tote bag” checklist:

A bit of honesty about “Model Behavior”:

You must maintain a high level of pleasant professionalism at all times. Frankly, a lot of people in the fashion industry, and a lot of other businesses, can be fake.

And last, but certainly not least:

“There’s only one way to become fierce, and that’s to practice constantly and consistently.”