Body Language "Expert" Doubts Brad & Angelina Are In Love

Glance at photographs of Brad visiting Angelina on the set of the film she’s directing, and you might think that they’re happy. But our resident body language “expert” (and tabloid enthusiast) Tiara Dew Dots reveals the sordid truth!

Tiara Dew Dots: This half-hug shows, quite clearly, that Brad is only “halfway” into Angelina. He embraces her with only one arm, and keeps the other on his tripod. He would really rather be taking pictures than touching her, this much is obvious.

Tiara Dew Dots: See how Angelina’s hand turns into a claw as she desperately clutches at this man? She is what they call a “wild child,” an unpredictable, course person who is ruled by animal instincts. She pulls him in, despite his reluctance, and her neck is craned up, angling her mouth so that it is pointing at his jugular vein. She could — and would — snap his neck without any hesitation!

Tiara Dew Dots: Brad, sensing that he is vulnerable, blocks Angelina’s attack by positioning his lips in front of hers.

Tiara Dew Dots: Their lips lock, and for a moment, the music of his tender kiss has quieted her beastly aggression.

Tiara Dew Dots: She is rendered speechless by the embrace, although something catches her eye…

Tiara Dew Dots: She gasps. “WTF, is that a ponytail?!”

Tiara Dew Dots: She wraps her arm around his neck, insistent on being the dominant one, and stands on her toes so as to face him eye to eye. She refuses to be shorter and therefore lesser, in his eyes.

Tiara Dew Dots: Um, and then they kiss again. Don’t be fooled! Brad is about to storm off at any moment! In Touch is never wrong.

Earlier: Body Language “Expert” Weighs In On Brad & Angie
Body Language Expert: Twilight Stars In Love
Body Language “Expert” Weighs In On Vogue’s Anna Wintour