In what sounds rather like a Portlandia cameo gone wrong (or right!), Gossip frontwoman Beth Ditto was arrested on a drunk and disorderly charge in a Portland bar on Saturday night. Spoiler alert: It sounds like she was drunk and disorderly. She was cut off during the St. Patrick's Day festivities when the bartender decided she couldn't handle another drink; subsequently, either Ditto or a member of her entourage kicked the "scrawny" mixologist in the nuts.
"When Beth and her friends came into the bar they immediately said, ‘We have a superstar out here. Can we get some service?' "
Beth walked in and broke a glass. Bar staff cut her off and walked her out, but she just kept trying to come back in. She was screaming, ‘Don't you know who I am? I'm Beth Ditto. Google me, bitches.'
Beth went outside and stood in the street, took off her shoes and threw her purse down and started screaming ‘O-bam-a,' " our source said."
"[She was] standing in the middle of the street with her arms extended from her sides like an airplane."
Not the best idea to ask the Internet to send dog shit to an elementary school, Charlie Sheen, but then, you're not known for your good judgment. After Sheen took to Twitter and complained about his daughter's school bullying problem, which he said administrators didn't take seriously, supporters of L.A.'s Viewpoint School reportedly stuck a butcher knife into a tree with a threatening note in Sheen's ex-wife Denise Richards' front yard, where their daughters could see it. [TMZ]
Beyoncé! You gained 57 pounds when you had a human being inside you, right? There are way more interesting things to ask you about, given that you are fucking BEYONCÉ, but this is Shape, and also people are dumb, so let's talk about what you eat:
"I always have breakfast, say, scrambled egg whites, a vegetable smoothie, or whole-grain cereal with low-fat milk. For lunch and dinner, I eat a lot of fish and vegetables. And throughout the day, I try to stay hydrated... I always treat myself to one meal on Sundays when I can have whatever I want. Usually it's pizza, which is my favorite indulgence."
Oh and quinoa, they all eat quinoa. [Us Weekly]
Sofia Vergara told Vogue that she's taking hormone pills, watching her diet and freezing her eggs in anticipation of having a child (reportedly via surrogate) with her noted douche nozzle fiancé Nick Loeb. "They want to get as many eggs as they can because usually you produce them but they're not good. They have to be perfect, perfect, perfect ones." [NYDN]
You know how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are considering leaving their domestic fuck-cave? Stephenie Meyer feels totally bad about that.
"Here's the thing: there are some actors who are looking to be world famous, to be that household name, and although they might discover that there are a lot of negative things involved in that, it's what they want. But that doesn't apply to Kristen and Rob. That's what makes it kind of ironic and tragic. [...] At the same time - and this is where the guilt comes from - it's created this nice peaceful place for me. They took all of my heat, which I feel bad about. If they had the choice, I don't know that they'd do Twilight again. It all came at a heavy price." [OK! Magazine]
- Miley Cyrus "refuses" to cancel her wedding plans with Liam Hemsworth. Can't he just, like, cancel them, though? Doesn't it only take one of the two people? [The Sun]
- Former Miss Kosovo Aferdita Dreshaj called off her engagement after photos were taken of her with Leonardo DiCaprio. [The Sun]
- Yay! Lil Wayne left the hospital. [TMZ]
- Live Schreiber, Square-Jaw Mensch, helped a lady who fell down. [NYDN]
- Omarosa Manigault is suing LaToya Jackson over tactless comments the latter made after being fired from Celebrity Apprentice: "[Omarosa's] a conniving, scheming, cut-throat, probably pulled the cord on Michael Duncan Clarke." :-|||| [Radar Online]
- Mama June Shannon broke out hella rhinestones at the GLAAD Awards. You go, Mama June Glenn Coco. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
- Crunchy lil' One Direction Popchip Harry Styles regrets dating Tay-Tay Swift. [TVZN.co.uz]
- Lindsay Lohan didn't accept her plea deal and chose 90 days of rehab lockdown instead because jail is scary. [TMZ]
- Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are planning two different "his and hers" weddings. (Jennifer Aniston wants all the weddings?) [Female First UK]
- Katie Holmes covers Allure, says she's open having more kids and is considering becoming an attorney because she likes their "practical thinking." Bobbed-haircut Xenu worshipper, we hardly knew ye. [Us Weekly]
- Folk singer Jason Molina has passed away at 39. [NPR]
- Justin Timberlake confirmed that the second half of The 20/20 Experience is dropping later this year. [THR]
- Oh and, AND, some rumor was floating around that JT was gonna play Daddy Warbucks in the Quezvhane Wallis Annie, but his rep says it's not true, BUT it led me down the primrose Google path of "annie daddy warbucks, "Yul Brynner daddy warbucks," "yul brynner really sexy anyone else think so?? ok fine" [Page Six]
- SHOCKING NEWS: Ryan Lochte is into spring break culture. [Page Six]
- Downton Abbey's Dan Stevens looks... different. [Radar Online]
- New mom Amber Rose looks adorable. That dress! [Radar Online]
- Khloe Kardashian got pulled over for tinted windows. [Gossip Cop]
- Bruno Mars covers GQ, says he wants to be old and fat someday. [Just Jared]
- Guys. Ian McKellen is officiating Sir Patrick Stewart's wedding. MAGNETO IS OFFICIATING PROFESSOR X'S WEDDING. [Inquisitr]
- Tom Cruise is considering starring in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (Temple Grandin's favorite show!) [Vulture]
- This sign-in sheet from The Office auditions! Adam Scott as Jim? Matt Besser as Dwight? Mary Lynn Rajskub as Pam?! Can't we just make alternate Offices? [HuffPo]