At some point in the very recent future, Ben Affleck was trawling celebrity dating app Raya, looking for a “real partner”—or, at least, another woman as radiant and talented as Jennifer Garner. Unfortunately, this did not happen!
The former Batman told Good Morning America’s Diane Sawyer in an interview this morning:
“I am on no dating [apps]. No Tinder. Grindr. Bumble. Humble. I am not on any of them. I don’t have judgment for people who are, great. I know people who are on them and have a fun time but that’s not me.”
Instead, Ben is looking for a relationship that is “deeply meaningful” for him, in which he can be “deeply committed.” Sounds ideal! And to his credit, that is probably an impossible venture on apps that prioritize casual sex and dating around. Plus, Jennifer Garner would never find love on Raya! I don’t know this for a fact, sure, but I feel it’s safe to assume.
It’s not all bad for Ben, however! I got rather teary-eyed reading his message to a future Ben, one who is hopefully happy and doing better than ever. Maybe I’m more moved by sad dad types than I realized!
“Five years from now Ben Affleck is sober and happy and sees his kids three-and-a-half days a week and has made three or four movies that are interesting to him. I directed two [movies] that he is hopefully proud of and is in a healthy, stable, loving, committed relationship.”
Good luck, dude. [Just Jared]
I don’t have a wife, because I am not as lucky as Justin Bieber or his mustache. But if I did have a wife, I would simply opt out of ranking her friends on live television as part of a televised segment for James Corden’s television program. These two have really done everything they can this week to be as annoying as possible, don’t you think?
On the Late Late Show Thursday night, Corden gave Bieber the choice: Rank Hailey Bieber’s hot model friends, or eat a bull dick. He chose to rank them. (Coward!) According to the mustachioed pop star, here’s how that particular hierarchy is categorized:
“Here’s the thing … I know Kendall the best. I’ve spent the most time with Kendall. She’s a good friend of ours. I haven’t spent a lot of time with Gigi, and I haven’t spent a lot of time with Cara, so I have nothing against those people. It’s just I have a better relationship [with Kendall]. It’s not like I’m like, ‘Oh, screw Cara, screw Gigi!’ I don’t want to eat a bull’s penis, you know what I mean? It is what it is.”
Again, coward! Eat the bull penis, and don’t, under any circumstances, rank some women on live television with a man like James Corden. [Us Weekly]
Australia’s very own Real Housewives of Melbourne have axed fan favorite Pettifleur Berenger for the upcoming season. Daily Mail also reports that Jackie Gillies will not be shining with her angels next season either. So, in their honor, I’d like to pay tribute to the most important moment in Housewives history. [Daily Mail]
- Cindy Crawford has some feelings about Presley Gerber’s face tattoo. [Us Weekly]
- Josie Canseco has broke poor little Logan Paul’s heart—what could it possibly mean? [Daily Mail]
- Katy Perry collapsed after a gas leak on the American Idol set, which is literally my worst nightmare. Feel better! [Page Six]
- It’s nice to see Kpop groups like BLACKPINK in Just Jared photosets! [Just Jared]
- Of course Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard want their kids to be famous. [E News]