Earlier this month, paparazzi got some very sad-looking shots of Ben Affleck’s massive, terrible phoenix tattoo, one he’d originally claimed was fake and for a film (Reader, it was not.) In response, New Yorker writer Naomi Fry penned a rather thoughtful essay on Affleck’s “middle-aged-white-male sadness that the Internet loves to mock,” but Affleck would like to be very clear: he is not sad. He is fine.
Over the last few years, Affleck has gone through a divorce; he has been publicly accused of groping several women; he has battled an addiction to alcohol, and he has been in several Zack Snyder films. I have also been “fine,” like the time my apartment caught fire and my belongings were destroyed, or when I was viciously dumped by someone who promptly dated my best friend, or when I saw Surviving Christmas. We are all fine. Everything is fine. This is fine.
For the last few weeks the nation has been hotly debating whether or not Cameron Diaz is, in fact, retired from acting, and though Selma Blair claimed earlier this month that she had been “making a joke” when she claimed the 45-year-old star of In Her Shoes was stepping out of the spotlight, apparently that backtrack was a lie. Entertainment Weeky interviewed Diaz, Blair, and their The Sweetest Thing costar, Christina Applegate, and when the interviewer asked if the three had reunited since the 2002 film came out, they had the following exchange:
DIAZ: Maybe I should, you know, I mean, I’m down. I’m literally doing nothing.
APPLEGATE: I’m literally doing nothing, too! I’m semi-retired, I haven’t worked for years. I’m a mom, that’s what we do. So I’m around, man.
DIAZ: That’s so awesome. I’m totally down. I’m semi-retired, too, and I am actually retired, so I would love to see you ladies.
BLAIR: I would love it.
Cameron, make up your goddamn mind. I won’t be jerked around like this.
- Dance Moms star Abby Lee Miller lost 100 pounds in jail. [Daily Mail]
- Bruno Mars made some jokes near a koala. [People]
- It appears John Goodman doesn’t harbor the same adulation toward President Trump as Roseanne Barr. Marriage is tough. [TMZ]
- Ashton Kutcher fucked up making pancakes, a breakfast a literal toddler could cook successfully. [Instagram]
- I rather enjoyed this interview with my personal hairspiration Andie McDowell. [Deadline]