Earlier this month, paparazzi got some very sad-looking shots of Ben Affleck’s massive, terrible phoenix tattoo, one he’d originally claimed was fake and for a film (Reader, it was not.) In response, New Yorker writer Naomi Fry penned a rather thoughtful essay on Affleck’s “middle-aged-white-male sadness that the Internet loves to mock,” but Affleck would like to be very clear: he is not sad. He is fine.
Over the last few years, Affleck has gone through a divorce; he has been publicly accused of groping several women; he has battled an addiction to alcohol, and he has been in several Zack Snyder films. I have also been “fine,” like the time my apartment caught fire and my belongings were destroyed, or when I was viciously dumped by someone who promptly dated my best friend, or when I saw Surviving Christmas. We are all fine. Everything is fine. This is fine.