Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Behold These Heroic Sorority Girls Ignoring a Baseball Game to Take Selfies

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Close every museum and cut Revelations out of the Bible, because this video of Arizona State sorority girls taking nonstop selfies at a baseball game is the most accurate possible representation of our once-great civilization’s past (implicit but absent), present (lots of selfies), and future (inevitable, stunning crumble and decline).

The members of ASU’s Alpha Chi Omega sorority were at Wednesday evening’s Diamondbacks-Rockies game when they were caught by cameras (and two very uncool announcers) taking picture after picture of themselves having a fun time, of themselves with hot dogs, of themselves looking confused.

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“I can’t even get my phone to take pictures,” says one announcer, who likely just has a landline.

“Here’s my first bite of the churro. Here’s my second bite of the churro,” says the other.

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Also, holy crap, these guys are professionals (though these girls don’t seem to be in the video above):

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They’ll be doing this long after the world’s ended. Like roaches, but beautiful. Watch the whole video below:

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Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.