Image: Getty

Ariana Grande is known for many thingsā€”possessing no tears left to cry, ruining the Titanic alongside Satan herself (James Corden) and, of course, the horse tail that growsĀ atop her tiny head. In a new interview with Popsugar, Grandeā€™s longtime hairstylist Chris Appleton argued that the varying heights and style of her ponytails symbolize different moods, situations, behaviors, etc.

I think what he was looking for is, uh, that she coordinates her hair for specific events, which is what all stylish people do. Anyway:

ā€œIf you have never been snatched, you have not lived. A snatched ponytail is such an iconic look, but there are so many things you can do with itā€”you can pull it up high or low or half-down. Arianaā€™s done a great job of showing that off.

With ponytails, itā€™s all about the placement. The higher you go, the fiercer it looks. The lower you go, the more professional or serious it looks. It can change the whole shape of your face. It can snatch your face upward and lift your eyes, or it can pull your eyes down. If youā€™re adding hair extensions or details like braids, it gives off a different impression. Thatā€™s where she gets to show her personality. But when weā€™ve worn it down recently, thatā€™s fun as well because itā€™s just a change.ā€

But what if Iā€™m skeptical (true) and Appletonā€™s right (possible)?? Letā€™s investigate.

A high pony

Image: Getty

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Not only has Ariana Grandeā€™s ponytail left the atmosphere in this pic, it appears to be bedazzled in the shape of an arrow pointing in the direction of space, as if to scream to her audience, ā€œUp, up, and away, bitch!ā€ Appleton calls it fierce, I call it alien, which is also fierce.

A low pony

Image: Getty

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Ariana Grandeā€™s ponytail is trying desperately to slide off her head in this pic, taken during her emotive performance at this yearā€™s March for Our Lives rally. Iā€™m not sure it looks sleeker or more professionalĀ than her other hair heights, but sheā€™s certainly wearing it during a serious set which gives her noggin a sort of elegant joie de vivre. Perhaps itā€™s herā€”not the ponytailā€”that makes the vibe. Deep.

No pony

Image: Getty

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At the 2018 Video Music Awards, Ariana Grande went sans ā€˜tail. I think itā€™s a wig (the hairline is suspect) but itā€™s certainly strange to see her going au natural. Iā€™d say this look screams ā€œIā€™m tired of having the weight of an extra limb atop my head,ā€ but it could also be ā€œIā€™m an engaged woman now, wow!ā€

What have we learned:

Iā€™m certain Ariana Grande has a headache, like, all the time. If not from the tight ponytail ā€œsnatch[ing] your face upward and lift[ing] your eyes,ā€ as Appleton describes, which sounds fucking painful, by the wayā€”but from the pounds and pounds of extensions on her slight frame. Thereā€™s no way sheā€™s not quietly suffering for fashion every goddamn moment of every goddamn day.

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Cute looks, though!