Are These 'Sources' Close to Karlie and Ivanka Just Karlie and Ivanka in Novelty Groucho Glasses?

Some unnamed sources close to Karlie Kloss and Ivanka Trump are doing overtime defending their respective celebrity she-EOs, giving totally conflicting information to reporters in an apparent attempt to undermine the rival girlboss’ story.

Reading through all this Slander for Her™, I honestly have to wonder: Are these sources actually just Karlie and Ivanka using an eBay’d Deluxe Talkgirl to scramble their voices to destroy one another in the press? Who can say! I’m just throwing an incredible plausible theory out there is all.

To recap: A buncha white supremacists stormed the Capitol this week after Donald Trump was like, “Storm the Capitol.” Noted Trumpdóttir Ivanka initially celebrated the move, calling yon Capitol stormers “American patriots” in a since-deleted tweet. Karlie, Ivanka’s sister-in-law by way of both their marriages to the brothers Kushner, subtweeted ‘vankonia, writing that “accepting the results of a legitimate democratic election is” actually what’s “patriotic.” Some rando in the replies urged Karlie to tell that to her in-laws. “I’ve tried,” Kloss shot back. Tavi Gevinson got involved, but that’s not really necessary to what we’re talking about right now, and I’m kind of short on time so on to the aforementioned unnamed sources!

Some anonymous source known only as “a friend of the Trump family” told Page Six that Ivanka was “surprised and hurt” by Karlie’s tweets because “they’re so close and talk on a regular basis, but never really about politics.”

“Karlie is public with her politics, but privately shies away from discussing them,” the source continued. “Karlie likes to position herself publicly as an activist, yet she’s never approached Ivanka on any of the issues [Kloss has] championed like paid maternal leave, women in STEM, and criminal justice reform.”

Delicious, perhaps! But while Ivanka I mean ““““Ivanka’s”””” ““““friend”””” went on the passive-aggressive offensive, essentially calling Kloss a fucking hypocrite behind closed doors, Karlie I mean ““““Karlie’s”””” ““““friend”””” told Page Six a totally conflicting story about how the two women haven’t been “so close” in years!

“[Karlie] hasn’t had a close relationship with [Jared and Ivanka] for quite some time due to the policies of the Trump administration,” according to the supposed insider. “I think Karlie feels it’s pretty unfortunate that this is what Ivanka is choosing to spend her time on while our democracy is facing a crisis fueled by this administration.”

Who’s telling the truth? Honestly, who cares? This is so fun! Not to pit women against each other, but faster, pussycats! Kill! Kill!

• Kirstie Alley doesn’t know what slavery is, says that Twitter banning Trump is slavery. [Page Six]
• Remember that time Nicki Minaj tried to get a Tracy Chapman sample cleared for her album a couple years ago? Well, here’s a development! Nicki had to pay Tracy nearly half a million dollars for playing the ultimately unreleased song sampling the latter’s “Baby Can I Hold You” on the radio. End development. [The New York Times]
• Lisa Vanderpump’s husband got the covid-19 vaccine. [Page Six]
• So did Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. [Deadline]
• “This is the kind of locker room talk we need,” said staff writer Shannon Molero when she dropped this video of Chorley Football Club singing Adele’s “Someone Like You” into Jezebel’s Dirt Bag Slack channel. Agreed!