Apparently "push presents" — a gift from a new dad to a new mom to thank her for pushing their mutually created baby out of her vagina — are all the rage? Because you should start treating your woman nice after she's popped out your baby!
As What to Expect explains:
Even if you'd rather slide extra cash right into your new kid's college fund, you'll find something to love on this list of push-present ideas, no matter your family budget. Drop enough hints to your hubby (maybe leave this push-present primer up on your browser?), and you may just get what you want.
PLEASE TREAT ME NICE AFTER I'VE BEEN IN LABOR FOR A MILLION HOURS AND TORE MY VAGINA RESEMBLES GROUND CHUCK HINT HINT!
It's interesting — most of the suggested gifts are things like jewelry, chocolate, and items for the nursery, but others just involve being a decent human being:
Some totally free push-present ideas include a month of back rubs, two months when he's in charge of washing dishes, or an agreement that he takes all night feedings on weekends.
Uh, isn't that called being a good dad? Whatever it takes, I suppose.
As if all of this wasn't enough — apparently there's such a thing as push presents for new dads? And while new moms should hope for expensive shiny baubles and for the father of their child to help with taking care of their child, guys just want iPads and new cars*!
Am I totally clueless here? Are these a sweet and lovely thing? Or should we not worry about presents and instead focus on teaching dads to be, er, dads? I suppose it's fine — and, okay, sweet and lovely, t00 — as long as the push presents are part of a loving partnership, and not a once in a blue moon show of support.
*I want all this stuff and also, not to give birth — what about ME?? I just enjoyed a hearty BM, do you think my boyfriend will get me a tennis bracelet from Tiffany's?