An Annotated History of Noah Cyrus and Lil Xan's Relationship
CelebritiesEarlier this week I awoke, suddenly, from an undisturbed slumber, mainlined some iced coffee and discovered upon a brief perusal of many, many gossip sites that up-and-coming pop singer/Miley Cyrus’s little sister, Noah Cyrus, 18, had begun dating up-and-coming Xanax-referencing rapper Lil Xan, 21. I processed the information, moved along with my day and paid it no mind until, well, right now, when it occurred to me that this might very well be the next great publicist-induced coupling.
Think about it: Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik. Harry Styles and Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston. Taylor Swift and anyone, really. Young stars on the cusp of real-ass fame are often partnered up to elevate one another’s platform. Considering the sad girl/sad boy branding of both Noah and Xan (real name Diego Leanos) it’s a match made in 2018-heaven, where transparency and sensitivity around emotional health reigns supreme. (As an aside, I grew up during the golden age of emo, and this shit is emo as hell.) Let’s dive in.
The Players
Noah Cyrus
Noah, in addition to being an ultra hip teenager with an eye for trends, is also a singer à la Lana del Rey and Miley Cyrus (there’s a certain brass to her voice, but it’s nowhere near the deep country twang of her older sister.) Most of Noah’s songs bang and certainly celebrate being young and fucked up and whatever, with the exception of a collaboration with the late XXXTentacion, who she has been known to eulogize on Instagram. That part sucks.
Lil Xan
Lil Xan is a young rapper from California, part of a musical moment best described by the following words: Soundcloud, apathy, face tattoos, Xanax. Xan was addicted to the prescription drug (hence the name) but has since gotten clean, announcing he would begin recording under his birth name, Diego, at some point in the future. He hasn’t done that yet. He’s also caused controversy for saying some not-so-nice things about Tupac, calling his music “boring.”
The Relationship
According to the deep dive I conducted this morning, Noah and Diego have been dating for five days. FIVE DAYS. Here’s an in-depth look into the relationship, which could honestly only exist on Instagram.
July 29, 2018
Our story begins on July 29, when Xan posted the above pic with the self-deprecating caption, “We ugly as fuck I know”—a very relatable thing for two hot young adults to say about themselves. The use of the broken heart emoji here led some dummies online to think they were just friends, but a real stan knows that at the beginning of July, Xan dropped a new EP titled Heartbreak Soldiers, so he owns that shit now.