Amber Rose Had Her First Threesome and Totally Hated It

Queen muva Amber Rose recently dipped her toe into the crowded waters of sex with multiple people and is pleased to report that she fucking hated it.

She addressed the encounter on her podcast – a reboot of Loveline, but in podcast form and featuring her instead of the insufferable Dr. Drew – saying that it was “fucking horrible.” Rose put the pressure on herself to participate only because she talks about sex a lot and found it necessary to walk the walk.

As per my suspicions, Rose’s experience matches up with how I have always thought threesomes actually are – complicated, messy and a little awkward for all parties involved, depending. She said:

Because I feel like I am a very passionate lover and I like that one-on-one passion... With the threesome, I kind of felt like there was no passion. There was no kissing and rolling around, all of those moments that I enjoy. All those moments were not there.”

I imagine there’s quite a bit of “rolling around,” but a threesome sounds like a whole lot of multi-tasking and not a lot of boning. Rose went on to say that contrary to what everyone might think, she’s actually kind of a “nerd” in bed. “People really think that I have orgies all day and, like, I do these crazy sex acts,” she said, “I’m like, ‘I’m really just a normal girl.”

[Us Weekly]

I know how it looks, but I guess we have to take Kanye’s word on this one. Yes, he signed Tyga to G.O.O.D. Music but it’s not because he’s doing a favor for Kylie or the rest of the family but because he actually likes his music. Again, this is not Kanye swooping in at the behest of, say, Kim to give Tyga something to do instead of car shopping with Kylie while his other car gets repossessed.

According to TMZ, a source close to the situation said that “Kanye doesn’t take on ANY artist or project he doesn’t believe in personally.” That all checks out. While some things ‘Ye has done over this past year have been questionable at times, nothing about him suggests to me that he does anything he doesn’t want to do.

Once again, this is definitely not a favor. It’s real. Promise.

So, Tyga will be in the stude with Kanye keeping busy, which is great news. The more time he spends in there, the less time he has to do dumb shit like spend money that he doesn’t have. Sounds good to me.

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