Alia Shawkat, Jax Taylor, Lea Michele, Stassi Schroeder… It's Only Tuesday!

By Joan Summers  |  June 9, 2020 | 3:03pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Alia Shawkat, Jax Taylor, Lea Michele, Stassi Schroeder… It's Only Tuesday!
Graphic:Jezebel

It’s only Tuesday! It’s only Tuesday. Really, it’s only Tuesday! Are you sure it’s only Tuesday? I’m beginning to question if it, actually, is only Tuesday. Anyway, I do think it’s only Tuesday—and there’s a bit too much going on, for a Tuesday: In short, Lea Michele’s career keeps melting away faster than Glee escaped the popular imagination. Alia Shawkat decided to open her mouth. Jax Taylor is still a horrible person, and wife Brittany Cartwright will probably go down swinging for him as long as the reality TV checks keep getting mailed. And then there’s Stassi Schroeder, who’s caught between a Nazi joke and a fleeing publicist. What’s the Head Basic Bitch to do?

Let’s start with Lea Michele: Page Six reports that the longtime Reno Casino Barbra Streisand impersonator has a nasty reputation in the beauty industry, with multiple sources claiming she’s toxic and hard to work with. One claims at a L’Óreal shoot in 2012, she “stormed out” halfway through, claiming she was done. The head of the brand, meanwhile, stood in “shock,” and simply said: “No, she’s not.” But come on, a few bad photoshoots isn’t really enough to spoil her reputation, right? Well, when that alleged behavior squares with the testimony of what seems like everyone she’s ever worked with: Maybe!

Alia Shawkat is also apologizing, for apparently saying the n-word four years ago during an interview, when she rapped out a lyric from Drake’s “We Made It.” What’s perplexing is her apology itself, which contains art made by Shawkat, and reads like someone who’s spent too much time biking over to Brad Pitt’s house for casual, non-dating smoke sessions:

Turning our gaze to the nefarious Pump Rules Extended Universe, the fallout from Faith Stowers’s claims of racism and harassment keep getting worse for the Bad Bitch clique at the show’s core. Stassi Schroeder, former self-styled Queen Bee of the Bravo ratings powerhouse, has been fired by her publicist. Variety reports that alongside UTA dropping Schroeder as a client, a statement from Metro Public Relations announced they “made the decision this weekend to part ways with Stassi.” The news comes amid resurfaced photos of Schroeder wearing what she described as “Nazi chic.” Kristen Doute, standing not two feet from her in a bandana, was described as “Tupac chic.” Choices!

But that’s not all: Brittany Cartwright dug her heels in on Instagram over Stowers’s claims after being pressed by fans, announcing she “had NOTHING to do with that” and that Stowers knows “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” She continued:

“She hurt me really bad and never once apologized. I haven’t spoken to her since the night I found out and I did not say anything about nappy hair. I yelled at her and I did that rightfully so like any other human being would do if they had just found out what I did,” she explained. “If she ever even tried one time to apologize to me I could have forgiven her like I did Jax but she never ever did or even showed remorse for how bad she hurt me.”

She concluded, later on in her statement: “I will continue to support this movement and I won’t let this drag me down. Have a great day.” Moving right past her centering herself as a victim, when her friends put Stowers’s life in literal danger by calling the cops, I’d suggest Cartwright read up on her defensiveness in this moment. There’s plenty of easily accessible literature on the subject, stuff that even her husband Jax Taylor might understand! He apparently needs it just as much as she does, considering re-surfaced tweets from him calling Faith Stowers a criminal who is “wanted by the police for grand theft auto.” Coincidentally, those were the same claims made by Doute and Schroeder when they called the police on her. Interesting how this all slots neatly together!