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Schroeder is obsessed with the aesthetics of “basic”—which really means white, even if her publisher didn’t put it on the cover of Next Level Basic. Throughout the book, she telegraphs various trappings of modern white womanhood: bitchiness, iced coffee, balayages, watching the Kardashians, brunch selfies. A natural addition would have been a chapter on calling the cops on your black coworkers over petty “boy drama.” Doute, meanwhile, is about to publish her own book, He’s Making You Crazy. A question: Does Jax Taylor still have enough power over her, to influence an apology that somehow includes the line: “Although my actions were not racially driven?” I’m genuinely asking! It’s the only way I can explain how a woman who claims to be “learning” and “processing” the uprising outside her window can simultaneously lecture those protestors about “looting.”

Funny enough, the most recent Instagram posts for Doute and Schroeder, before their apologies, was a black square. Incredible! Now we just wait for the official statement from Lisa Vanderpump, claiming that although what these two did was violent and cruel, they deserve to be forgiven. What is it she told the cast after Max Boyens and Brett Caprioni said the n-word? “If I fired every one of you that have made mistakes, it doesn’t matter to what degree, probably none of you would have a job.”

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Read the room, Khloe. I’m being serious—read the room! The Kardashians have experienced an unnatural grace period these last two weeks, and I’d hate to see Khloe ruin it over a TikTok! Sources tell Hollywood Life that Khloe “doesn’t understand” why Cynthia Erivo mocked her fresh new look. “She feels good in her own skin,” the source said, “and didn’t even know Cynthia posted what she did.”

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Again, I ask this lady to read the room. Read the room, Khloe! Seriously, read the room. (Read the room!) Are you reading the room yet? [Hollywood Life]