Abby Lee Miller Plans to Get Through Prison by Pretending It's a Movie

By Megan Reynolds  |  May 11, 2017 | 12:00am
CelebritiesDirt Bag

On Tuesday, Abby Lee Miller, the Dance Moms “star”/choreographer/terrorizer of Maddie Ziegler was sentenced to one year and one day in prison for withholding $775,000 worth of income while she was filing for bankruptcy. How do you think she feels about spending some time away? How do you think she’s going to handle it?

Speaking to Good Morning America about her very specific sentence, she said “A year and a day; it sounds like a movie title.”

Yeah, Abby, you’re right, it kind of does, like a Nicholas Sparks-penned sob story that’s not quite A Walk to Remember, but closer to that Zac Efron ghost movie Charlie St. Cloud. Seeing as she’s had an awful lot of time to think about what she did, despite denying that she knew she was doing anything wrong, Miller’s worked out a way to cope with her cinematic sentence, of which she is only expected to serve ten months.

“I’m just going to pretend that I am shooting a movie and we’re on set, and I am there for 10 months, and that’s the way it’s gonna be,” she said on GMA. Okay girl, I guess, that’s one way to handle it?

She’s also going to spend her time in prison reading, learning Spanish and working on a new book. Also she wants to “be a smarter businesswoman” and plans to “worry about herself.” I’d argue that she’s already got the latter covered, don’t you think?

[Page Six]

Everything Martha Stewart does and says continues to amuse me, even that hot mess of a cooking show with Snoop Dogg on VH1, but this light drag of “Foodgōd” Jonathan Cheban (via Vulture) and the Kardashians is probably the best thing she’s said in her entire life.

“I had no idea who he was,” Stewart told BuzzFeed. Now, she says the two are friends: “I didn’t know at all and he was so mad at me. But then he saw all the attention he got, so now he loves me. He calls me and he emails me. But I had no idea because I had never watched the Kardashian program … I didn’t know he was part of the coterie of people who hang out with her. Now I know — big time!”

This is what she’s talking about.

Martha, I love you. Martha, never change.

[Vulture]

If you happen to work for Steve Harvey, please, for the love of god DO NOT AMBUSH HIM HE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE AMBUSHED OKAY????

[Twitter]