7-11 Now Delivering Specialty Packages Guaranteed to Get You Laid 

By Mark Shrayber  |  September 15, 2015 | 7:20pm
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Because nothing says romance quite like “Big Gulp & chill,” 7-11 has stepped out of its comfort zone—cream cheese taquitos and deliciously dried out egg rolls—and gotten right into the dating game. The retail giant will now send a romantic package directly to your home for $20. Slurpee, unfortunately, not included.

Slider News reports that the company has teamed with Door Dash (an online delivery alternative to GrubHub and Eat24) to provide Romeos and Juliets with both date night and “morning after” packages that will make any rendezvous completely unforgettable.

The global convenience store chain promises to get everyone in the mood on Saturday nights with its Date Night Pack — a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a Hershey’s chocolate bar, a can of Red Bull, an 18-piece pack of Trident gum and a three-pack of Trojan Ultra Thin condoms.

Personally, I would get this just for the candy bar and the ice cream, but that’s just me. I’ll do anything not to leave the house.

Here’s the “hangover” pack:

The $15 bundle includes extra-strength acetaminophen, a 25-ounce fruit punch Gatorade, a large pepperoni pizza and a smoked turkey and pepper jack sandwich.

The package options don’t stop there, though. And, while 7-11 doesn’t advertise the fact that its new offerings could also make great favors for when you want your one-night-stand to GTFO the morning after, it seems undeniable that rejection might be soothed by a two-liter of coke your rejected paramour can hit while walking home crying. (Don’t worry, there’s a pack with tissues, too.)

The $ 25 Gameday Pack consists of 10 buffalo wings, a 2-liter bottle of Coke, Doritos Nacho Cheese, a large pepperoni pizza and Tostitos Scoops.
The $ 20 Sniffles Pack comes with a 20-ounce Orange Gatorade and 7-Eleven brand allergy relief, cold and flu relief, Ibuprofen and tissues.
The cheapest of the bundles, the $ 9.75 Endurance Pack, offers a 1.93-ounce 5-Hour Energy Extra Strength, a Clif Chocolate Chip Bar and one of either a Monster energy drink, a 12-ounce RedBull energy drink or a 16-ounce Rockstar energy drink.

And if none of that is for you, you can actually customize the packs to your liking, adding things like Greek yogurt, cat litter, and batteries (if you’re spending the night alone).

The service is currently only available in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago, but will be expanding as part of an effort to make sure none of us will ever leave our houses again. Which isn’t so bad, really. What’s the outside world got that’s better than hot wings from a convenience store? That’s right: nothing.

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Image via Shutterstock

 
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