A Clockwork Orange Ain't Got Nothing on This Puppy Training Video

The world’s craziest dog training video. Well, I think it’s a dog training video. It might also just be cult indoctrination via hynotherapy. There are horror scenes in here titled “placing on a cold wet towel” and “tactile stimulation.” This is like Waco for dogs. There’s a whole bit with puppies nursing while Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” and gun shots play in the back ground.

Then, there’s some Guantanamera on a flute? Or maybe that’s whistling? I’m not sure, what is happening?! Classical music is played so the dogs won’t become “phonophobic,” then they do lights so they won’t become “photophobic.” It’s just the craziest thing I’ve ever seen, but also very cute, because German Shepherd puppies are ridiculously adorable. I’ve watched it twice and I’m pretty sure I’m in a cult now.

But seriously, you guys, spay and neuter your pets, we cannot support this insanity!